rubix cubes and jedi mind tricks

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Open Poetry #24

rubix cubes and jedi mind tricks

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

0 posted 2002-12-26 04:58 AM

rubix cubes and jedi mind tricks
--------------------------------


of all the places you could have been that nite
you chose to sit beside me,
there--on that old backyard patiobench

acquainted your presence with bleached zephyr;
and breathed eden into all things
cynical--in me

and, there

you spoke in comma splices ..
while the innuendos of your smile confessed, of
premonition
and
narcoleptic superstitions



it was cold that october--too cold for polo T's and blue flipflops
but i don't think you cared,
and somewhere ..
.. somewhere along the conversation,
i think maybe we gave up;
on jedi mind-tricks
and rubix cubes fiascos

for we were just a couple of strangers, misunderstood--at seventeen.



-------------------------------------------
"and i dont want the world to see me
because i don't think that theyd
understand,
when everythings meant to be broken
i just want you to know"

[goo goo dolls]
-------------------------------------------

[This message has been edited by christian (12-26-2002 05:00 AM).]

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

1 posted 2002-12-26 05:29 AM

I love how pure these words sound and how softly spoken.

Sunkissed.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

2 posted 2002-12-26 08:17 AM

A beautiful woman said this to me one afternoon: "Move over this way, so you're not sitting in the fern"

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

3 posted 2002-12-26 08:17 AM

you've managed to weave age-old wisdom with the innocence of youth in some wonderfully descriptive phrases--very well done!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2002-12-26 07:08 PM

Oh to be 17 again... okay maybe not

I like this. I found that the way you had the sentences arranged threw me off a bit, but it's all good. It added to the poem; made me read it more than once.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2002-12-27 01:50 AM

ah, the patio bench....what a memory.

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