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Open Poetry #24
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
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0 posted 2002-12-23 03:18 PM



I’ve walked those places
Where the bones of earth
Erupt from her skin
And in jagged break
Leave sharp edged
Cuts on the landscape
As I thought of how
The wrinkles in our bed sheets
Were just as stress split.

Those landscapes took eons
To form,
Ours took only a few years

Yet both resist
Erosion and time

Enduring

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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Gaia
1 posted 2002-12-23 03:23 PM


Love the metaphor, love the way your words erupt onto the page.
Elan
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since 2002-05-03
Posts 382
State of Wide Eye
2 posted 2002-12-23 03:27 PM



As fine as a split hair,
this is...

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-12-23 03:28 PM


I echo your "ow".
Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

4 posted 2002-12-23 04:10 PM


Yes, enduring...

Beautifully put.

Sunkissed.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2002-12-23 04:19 PM


Ron

The landscape of the bed sometimes can be as wide and hard to cross as a desert.  A great comparison/metaphor.  Enjoyed as always!  

Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
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Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2002-12-23 06:38 PM


Hmm...volcanic rock can be hard - it cuts like a knife. I too enjoyed this.
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2002-12-23 07:07 PM




Ron,

I don't care how rocky the terrain, I believe in true love, and I  believe it works, as it seems is the testament in this poem. Enduring, in spite of....

I think that kind of love  is predestined for some, and I think some will never know that special part of life. And, who knows why?

Enjoyed this, for it seems to have captured the way a growing relationship feels. It is nice to consider that some do endure. I still occasionally come across people who've been married 50, 60+ years; Amazing!

I liked the poetic descriptions.

Warm regards, Pat


  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
8 posted 2002-12-23 08:12 PM


An excellent read... glad I stopped by for this one.  I appreciate the methaphor and overall style, not to mention the title.  Peace.
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2002-12-24 03:32 AM


funny how one thing makes you think of another...good write. I enjoyed it
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2002-12-24 03:36 AM


Capt. Ron, as with all your poems, this was is excellently written, and makes the reader think. Thank you.  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2003-01-03 06:25 PM


Big and little quakes.
NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
12 posted 2003-01-03 07:00 PM


Capt. ~ I was drawn in by your title and fascinated once I'd read this several times. Very interesting comparison.

I love the last word. My hubby and I have been married for 34 years; some days it's cutting and hard and other's it's as soft and snuggly as a newborn kitten. Enduring!!

Hugs, Marti

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Paul Valery

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2003-01-03 07:48 PM


The molten boundaries of colliding plates are surely fault-laden and highly susceptible to ex/implosion... Much as time spent within the subduction of crumpling sheets is subject to the di/convergent flow of our lives...  This is a grand metaphor, Cap'n...
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