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Open Poetry #24
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-12-17 12:24 PM


From above,
the words of
his sermons
slid
down the side of
a self made
temple mount

Gathering speed
as they spun
a giant snowball
into the valley
below

Crushing
the perfect kingdom
he tried to make
for himself

Self proclaimed
martyr
without the
crucifixion
but I'll hold
the nails in
case he
changes his
mind

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (12-17-2002 02:47 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2002-12-17 12:36 PM


I could have written the counterpart, mom the martyr.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2002-12-17 12:51 PM


Yeah I figured this would strike a cord with a few people, it was a toss up as to who i'd right this for my mom or dad but when i came to the nailing part the choice was made. write that counterpart.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2002-12-17 01:13 AM


I don't know how you did it, but I love the way you used these words and brought the thought together.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2002-12-17 01:51 AM


Thank you passing I don't know how either, they just fall onto the page and into place from where i don't know..
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2002-12-17 07:09 AM




its not even an echo of a thought in my case..moms it, all the way..poor mom,
its one roll i dont think im going to play too soon

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-12-17 07:13 AM


I was going to say that this hit home, but last night "Dad the Martyr" actually did.

sigh. (frigging idiot)

I am enjoying your work much.

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
7 posted 2002-12-17 07:24 AM


truly enjoy the honesty of your work!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2002-12-17 09:02 AM


There must be a very interesting man behind all these very interesting writes!

~ Keep those words flowing!

EA

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-12-17 02:49 PM




(big huggssssssss) Oh Taphaela, this is wonderful, sweet friend, you speak of this mnan so brilliantly, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Raphaela, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
10 posted 2002-12-17 02:57 PM


a Most allusive type write....Enjoyed this very much.
~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2002-12-17 03:24 PM


Inked you're way too bright to fall into that role.

Karen I'm sorry to hear that, i get to see my saviour on Thursday for a special holiday sermon i'm sure.

THanks sandpiper don't think I could write any other way

Linda interesting or insane? I'm not sure which

Thanks Noah just one thing..what with the a at the end of my name last I checked i had male equipment. lol

Thanks Salty glad you enjoyed it

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
12 posted 2002-12-17 04:34 PM


Raph, when you write, you are so "matter-of-fact" about everything. Based on some of your comments here and other places, I don't think you're as old as some think you are.......in years that is. But, in wisdom you are very mature. You have an insight that a lot of people don't have. I think your work is interesting, as well as the writer.
Were you born with a lot of wisdom, or did it come through experiences in your life or those around you? (BTW, you don't have to answer that question if you don't want to. I was just writing what I was thinking).

Anyway, to sum it all up, I do like the way you write. The reader feels very much emotion because you write from your own feelings from your heart....
Thank you for sharing....  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
13 posted 2002-12-17 05:10 PM


I really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
14 posted 2002-12-17 06:25 PM


Ethel First of all thank you SSSOOO much for such a nice compliment. I think the only true wisdom is gained through experience and with that said, yes I've had way too many experiences to draw from. Insight comes from listening, I think alot of us talk but rarely listen, I've tried to listen more and hearing what people say has given me whatever insight I may have. Also I have a ferocious appetite for reading, more so when i was younger. But in constantly reading or researching I always try to stay aware.

Thanks Marshalzu I appreciate the kind words

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (12-17-2002 07:48 PM).]

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
15 posted 2002-12-18 11:54 AM


Dark clouds in your forecast lately, Raph...  not a bad thing -- definitely interesting reads, but this is a great channel to watch the latest news and editorials...

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
16 posted 2002-12-18 11:58 AM


Not all dark Mark there are some sunny breaks. I think people get so fightened by some of my stuff they miss out on the nice and calm poems i slip in there every once in awhile. Thanks for staying tuned. This message brought to you by...


Raph

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