navwin » Main Forums » Spiritual Journeys #2 » Can You?
Spiritual Journeys #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Can You? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
sweepea82
New Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 8


0 posted 2003-06-02 12:15 PM


I look around me and wonder how things came to this
How is it I find myself here, time and again?
Have I so betrayed You that You won’t even hear my cries?
I curse You, but really it’s myself I despise.

It was I who brought down this reign
It was I who took my life from Your hands
There is no one to blame for this travesty,
No one to blame but myself.

Will You still hear me?
Will You see me, if I lay myself down?
Will You accept an offering from me,
From me, who is so stained I can see hope to be made clean?

Can You hold me there, in Your hands
For just a moment
And take away what I thought I wanted?
Can You make me whole again?

My Sovereign God, My Holy Lord
My Savior,
Father, Son, and Ghost
The beautiful Trinity

I know You by all of these names
But my question tonight, is do You still know me?
Do You remember me?
Your creation, once beautiful, once safe and saved?

Can You still look at me
And see what You meant for me to be?
Can I still be that?
Can You restore what I once longed so for?

Can I be Your child again?
A child of the Risen Lord,
Adopted by The King
Who gave His One and Only Son to die for me...

[This message has been edited by sweepea82 (06-02-2003 12:18 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Amber - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2003-06-02 02:02 AM




I know you will like the wonderful family of friends at Passions in Poetry and watch your email for a wonderful welcome from us here.

In response to your poem the lines,
quote:
It was I who brought down this reign
It was I who took my life from Your hands
There is no one to blame for this travesty,
No one to blame but myself.

Will You still hear me?
Will You see me, if I lay myself down?
Will You accept an offering from me,
From me, who is so stained I can see hope to be made clean?

Can You hold me there, in Your hands
For just a moment
And take away what I thought I wanted?
Can You make me whole again?


These are certainly strong words and supply the very answer one would surely receive if they were to take their own life then look for forgiveness, and you have written it well.

I hope you have made yourself familiar with our guidelines toward the bottom of the page that relate to sensitive writing within the standard rules of our site, and again I wish to welcome you.
http://netpoets.com/submit/articles/guidelines.htm

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2003-06-02 08:14 AM


You are so welcome to these pages and you will be welcomed by your God when you humble yourself as you did in your great poem.  Joyce
sweepea82
New Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 8

3 posted 2003-06-02 12:06 PM


Mysteria and Joyce- thank you for the wonderful welcome! This poem for me isn't about taking ones life, but it's about some one who was once in love with God, who took over bcause they thought they could do better, but now looking back, they are so ashamed and have distanced themself so much that they don't even begin to know how to find their way back. I didn't even realize it could be interpreted as taking ones life until you (Mysteria) pointed it out to me, I guess I'll just have to be more careful in the future.
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2003-06-02 12:41 PM


Your poem was a very powerful first post, and I think that is the beauty of poetry it can be intrepreted so many ways.  

With your interpretation, one that so many feel by the way, myself included, I think the forgiveness is not only there, but the arms are open and welcome, we just have to ask for the forgiveness.  Nicely worded.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-06-02 09:22 PM




(big hugggsssssssss) God Bles You, dearest friend, I understand just how you feel and I truly believe the best way to be close to God is to simply forgive and unconditionally love openly, for He is always listening to us all and He remembers and will always remember and seeing us pray and give is all He needs to know we are following His word! This is a gorgeous debut, I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Spiritual Journeys #2 » Can You?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary