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Open Poetry #23
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2002-11-15 07:50 AM


I saw you once again this summer night
you passed my way without a glance at me
and when I viewed your face, our lover's plight
became the paint etched in my memory

I knew that loving you would be a test
your restless heart has moved you oft before
I hoped to shine to climb above the rest
and gave my heart in love to help you soar

I gave and gave; you took of all I had
never needing me, or so it seemed
although this love nest always made me sad
I had hope of change, perhaps I dreamed

I've not changed my mind through years apart
the hope I kept alive by faith and dreams
and now I see the beating of my heart
was just an empty echo of my screams

I know love's not supposed to be like this
you came, I loved and then you had to go
I hold onto the memory of love's bliss
with nothing much to say except hello.


Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



© Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2002-11-15 07:58 AM


"...now I see the beating of my heart was just an empty echo of my screams..."

--really puts the emotions felt across...

The wistfulness and loneliness of two ships passing in the night. Achingly good portrayal of this sort of scenario.

EA

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-11-15 08:05 AM


Keth,
Such a beautifully written sad poem.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-11-15 08:11 AM


And now I see the beating of my heart was just an echo of my screams...

great line....as is the entire poem.

So well written. Thanks.

Hugs and Warm Regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2002-11-15 08:54 AM


Do you think that just by chance
When he passed you by that night,
He didn't give a single glance,
Cuz he remembered the Vegemite?

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2002-11-15 09:04 AM


and now I see the beating of my heart
was just an empty echo of my screams

Oh, wow... those lines are fantastic, Keth... very powerful! And do I ever understand the wistfulness of all I have not being enough, leaving nothing much to say. *S* Wonderful write!

ROFL @ Toe... having a problem with that vegemite, hunh? LOL

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2002-11-15 09:12 AM


AAWW Kethry, this is so beautifully written, but oh so sad. I hope things are better now, if you are talking about yourself. this poem really had a lot of feelings and emotions in it. Thanks for sharing.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-11-15 11:56 AM


I knew that loving you would be a test
your restless heart has moved you oft before
I hoped to shine to climb above the rest
and gave my heart in love to help you soar

============================

You know you just penned a moth anthem right?
felt every word of your rhymes divine...
*sigh* (mothy heartstrings)

No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ...
and I never saw blue like that before.

~Tom Kimmel~

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
8 posted 2002-11-15 01:04 PM


Keth this is wonderful writing. I loved this very much my heart is in my throat .You never fail to write well and this is outstanding.

10 points to you I think.

Very well written


love and warm stuff
as always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
9 posted 2002-11-15 03:47 PM


Great writing Kethry.  You have a great way of writing what you feel.
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
10 posted 2002-11-29 10:45 AM


Keth beloved one, I finally got myself in here Yes beloved heart you are worth me making a supreme effort, so I came if not hotfoot I came. As always beloved heart your writing leaves me wishing that I had the ability to write a reply worthy of your gems. And don’t tell me again that it was just a little jotting from you I’m well aware that YOU don’t need to work at writing, while the rest of us who don’t possess the gift you do, have to struggle to combine two lines into a semblance of coherent thought.

Always your writing is brilliant and this is no exception, you know I love it utterly utterly utterly, beautiful work darling and the lines are exquisite.

Now mush mush, get back to the grindstone besides it gives me a chance to catch up.



Love and warm stuff
As always
Slushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
11 posted 2002-11-30 12:24 PM



Kethry~
This is a beautifully written piece and it touches deeply.
Very nicely penned.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2002-11-30 12:27 PM


what a feeling that i know too well! Good one!
Jamie Dawg
Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 35

13 posted 2002-11-30 12:55 PM


i think this is really really sad and very true. Its a bit tragic, but i came quite close to shedding a tear at this one! Sounds like a situation a lot of people know about (myself included.) Especially liked the line about screams of your heart...quite dramatic but effective.

Respect JD xx

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
14 posted 2002-11-30 07:36 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Kethry, I too hope these feelings don't apply to you now, sweet friend, this is sad and expresses such deep wistfulness, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

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