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Teen Poetry #6
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REQUIEM:
New Member
since 2002-09-15
Posts 6


0 posted 2003-01-05 09:38 PM


“You’re sick, You need Help”…I agree.
To watch me bathe in Diseased Blood,
Whilst. Time is standing still-
with a soul that isn’t My first Love;
And no one knows this Pain:
Empty as I am, sleeping with the Dead.
But, God called in sick Today.
Pardon me-
For not telling every single one of You, ‘til now.
Apparently. I was stitching my eyes to its denial



Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain


[This message has been edited by REQUIEM: (01-05-2003 10:10 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 anonymous albert ? - All Rights Reserved
jeffwillett
Member
since 2003-01-04
Posts 86
Texas, US
1 posted 2003-01-05 09:48 PM


er...i don't get it
wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
2 posted 2003-01-06 08:25 PM


well your not it denial if ya wrote a poem about it...i hope it gets better....ad "God never calls in sick"

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
3 posted 2003-01-06 09:06 PM


I see a lot of talent...but I don't really understand it...especially the beginning few lines.

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
4 posted 2003-01-07 10:25 AM


ummmmmmmmmmm............confusing...please explain a little bit...good job..but very confusing to me!

LIZ

live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning!

rxyfxy04
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 54
lil' town in Virginia
5 posted 2003-01-07 10:32 AM


i really didnt get that and i dont like the title really cause God will NEVER call in sick.. he is always there but maybe if i understood the poem then i would understand what you mean...

RxyFxy04

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2003-01-24 07:47 AM


Whoa - *very* intense. It is so you, Mister A. Beautifully constructed with just the right amount of morbidity. You've struck an amazing balance with the imagery. I particularily like the last line. So true, so true.

wonderful as per usual. Come back to us, now. You're missed.

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
7 posted 2003-01-24 08:58 AM


Alright, alright, gotta admit this is real deep. But you know what, somehow, I get this in all it's supposed oddity. Sometimes it does feel like he's on vacation. Any friend of Lizzy's is a good guy (or gal) I like this, keep writing for us.

Jenn

"I keep looking, looking for something more." Sara Evans

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
8 posted 2003-01-24 08:58 PM


very deep and dark. perhaps that's why i'm drawn to it. very beautiful with a dash (or two) of morbidness.
Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
9 posted 2003-01-24 09:06 PM


I enjoyed the read, but what's with all the wierd fonting? Is there some underlying emphasis I'm missing here?

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
10 posted 2003-01-24 09:15 PM


Quite impressive, my friend. A very, very good write. The little oddiities in your writing style make it even more unique, and impressive.

I'm curious, is 'today' your birthday? I got the impression today was your birthday, and that God called in sick, and you are writing that you are a mistaken creation/existence. Am I close?

~Titus

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
                 --Aldous Huxley

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

11 posted 2003-01-25 11:01 PM


Wow... the thing about that is that at first the title is like wow this is gonna be good... then you read it and you think "whaaa?" and then you re-read it and think "wow it simply SOUNDS good" and then you read it one more time and it all clicks.  The font didn't make sense til like the eigth time I read it... but in the end it really is very very very good.
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