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rxyfxy04
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 54
lil' town in Virginia

0 posted 2002-12-19 10:37 AM

I wish this could be true.
That the one to break the wall,
is rite in front of me, it's you.
Now you ask, what wall is this?

The wall I built up,
in front of my heart.
So I wouldn't have the fear
of maybe getting hurt.

They flooded in,
tear after tear.
They haunted in,
fear after fear.

So I had to think
of what I was to do.
To have a wall built.
To let no one through.

Through to my heart
with emotions running strong.
This I could not have.
This I thought was wrong.

But then when I look,
I can see you may be different.
Did I ever push you back?
Sorry, it is not what I meant.

When I feel trust in your arms,
I want to hold you tight.
If I find the way to,
my wall may break down tonight.

It is not your fault, I know,
that I don't want anyone in.
But now all I ask is
Would you find a way in?

Are you willing to try?
You can do it, I swear.
The reason I know is because,
the feelings are there.

So take a step closer,
and hold me tonight
because of these feelings,
I never want to say goodnight.

Now I'm to question,
If I break this wall down,
Letting go of all fears,
Would you still be around??

RxyFxy04

[This message has been edited by rxyfxy04 (12-19-2002 09:11 PM).]

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

1 posted 2002-12-19 11:08 AM

Wow. Wonderful write. I know how you feel to, I've done the same thing with myself. Hope every thing goes good for you and keep writting!!

Read my work and read my thoughts
I'll go back into the night now
---Night Angel

rOxXbabY391
Member

since 2002-12-14

Posts 71

2 posted 2002-12-19 05:42 PM

That was soooo good!

i loveeed these lines:

"When I feel trust in your arms,
I want to hold you tight.
If I find the way to,
my wall may break down tonight."

and pretty much EVERYthing after it too!

only one suggestion but u probably already knew this and forgot so if ya did just ignore me! lol

But now all I ask
Is would you find a way in?

i think itd be better if you put IS on the top line :-D

aweeesome poem!
~*~eMiLy~*~

"I don't think I can make it through one more night. 'Cause how do you answer "What's wrong?" ~ when nothing is right."

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

3 posted 2002-12-19 06:58 PM

I can totally relate to this poem. Good write, hope your wall has been broken down by that special someone =)) Well done and i hope to see more of your work

much love,
shea

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

4 posted 2002-12-19 08:45 PM

Wow thats really good... I love the ending its well written. The concept of the wall is one that a lot of writers use but not usually in that way, it was a good way to say it. Keep writing, good job!

OtherSideOfTheMirror

rxyfxy04
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 54
lil' town in Virginia

5 posted 2002-12-19 09:09 PM

thanks yall!! emily-thanks for the suggestion.. that does sound and look better

RxyFxy04

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

6 posted 2002-12-20 12:18 PM

Wow! I can relate to that poem so well it's scarey! That was a truly beautiful piece!

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

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