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Teen Poetry #6

The Girl of my dreams

ShadyMakaveli
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 128

0 posted 2002-11-27 04:08 PM

There aren't even the right words
To explain how you make me feel
Inside there's a feeling, totally unreal
To you this might sound absurd

Never even crossed your mind
These feelings so strong in me
Us as one could it ever be
Or am I just falling behind

Feelings I am unable to express
My confidence is just to low
Want to tell you, so you know
This love for you that I possess

Infinite dreams of you and me
Working towards telling you
No clue, what i've been through
It's only you my eyes see

Wondering if you feel the same
Or am I all alone in this
With opportunities I miss
I'm the one to take the blame

Scared to go in a new direction
Your the girl I desire
How you feel I inquire
Will you share the same affection

cutie2005
Member

since 2000-04-30

Posts 148
Bennett, Colorado USA

1 posted 2002-11-27 05:24 PM

Hey, I really really liked this poem! It was great I say keep it up! And I hope the "girl" thing works out for you, i know how it is, but wit a guy of course hehe!! Good job!! :-)

If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them!

clve527
Member

since 2002-07-08

Posts 200

2 posted 2002-11-27 08:31 PM

When you decide to write something, you should try and write something new that people haven't heard. And if it is about a topic from the past then you should try and put it into a new light or say it in a different way, because otherwise your reader will get bored.

Casey

rxyfxy04
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 54
lil' town in Virginia

3 posted 2002-11-27 11:27 PM

i really like this definitly b/c i could relate. Hopefully it will work out for you!

RxyFxy04

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2002-11-28 08:38 PM

Shady
This was pretty good ( then again what would I know? )

Nice write..

Riley

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

5 posted 2002-11-28 08:58 PM

hey,
i reallllly liked this poem
the rhyming wasnt forced or anythign and it flowed nicely
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

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