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Teen Poetry #6
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roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

0 posted 2002-10-29 06:49 PM


in my life i am nothing
nothing is all i will ever be

i work so hard to please people
but nothing is all they see

i think i am living my life
but my life is really living me

im suffocating, i cant breathe
it feels like im drowning in the deep blue sea

in my life i am nothing
nothing is all i will ever be

© Copyright 2002 LIZ - All Rights Reserved
foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
1 posted 2002-10-29 07:38 PM


this one was awesome better than the first one "tears"!!!!
        

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
2 posted 2002-10-29 08:03 PM


Very dark, I normally don't like those, but this is very good. Keep going with it maybe? Sticks out and I like it. Woowoo!

=-Laura-=

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
3 posted 2002-10-30 12:33 PM


Nice work.  I like "my life is living me."  Very cool concept.  

Parasite

roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
4 posted 2002-10-31 03:14 PM


thanx again for the replies.....i really like hearing about how people react to my poetry......hope u like everything i else i am soon going to post!!
           LIZ

Jester
Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind
5 posted 2002-11-01 05:19 PM


i really like the way you structured this.  The two line stanzas really added to this peice.  Thanx for the read!
Jester

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
6 posted 2002-11-01 08:20 PM


good write.  thanks for sharing.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

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