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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Stuck |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
First love, First heartache, It's all the same to me. You and I, We're the darkest sky, With the brightest stars. It's such a shame, We could be forever, But we'll never be at all. I guess I was temporarily blind, When you showed me a way out, Now I suppose I'm stuck, In love with you. "You write the lie you want to be when your life looks like a book you wouldn't read."-Jets To Brazil [This message has been edited by StellarChica (09-21-2002 08:41 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Wow, this holds quite a lot of good literary value. For a start, I especially liked the lines : "You and I, We're the darkest sky, With the brightest stars". Those lines are really something quite special. They give the idea of a haunting solitude (the dark sky) however the imagrey of bright, hope filled stars that follows not long behind lifts that up and says that there may be hope, yet the next idea shoots that down. Although it may be simplistic, often in poetry when you're trying to convey one idea simple is just as effective as complex. Well done. Michelle. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Nice work, Erin. Another delightfully pessimistic view of love. Nice to read this kind of thing again.  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Thanks guys.  "You write the lie you want to be when your life looks like a book you wouldn't read."-Jets To Brazil |
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