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sean_krazy
Junior Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 33


0 posted 2002-09-16 05:03 PM



Waiting for an Angel in December

If I were afraid of anything in this world,
It would be this fate predestined to me.
I prayed to Him many a time to spare me of this revelation,
My words were merely forgotten.
These tears falling down my eyes…
Lost in Life,
A fool to wander hopelessly for meaning
I lye down with emptiness within,
In this cold place with tears wiping these
reminisces I have of my past…

All the times when I felt insecure,
I ran and hid behind closed walls.
What a waste when I begged for mercy,
No sympathy for the retarded, the discarded.
This is my placeBecause I fell in love with my only friend.
Aloof from society, day by day
We only loved each other a little too more.
We always laughed, as mad people were alike
We always hugged, as mad people were alike
We always cried, as we were all alike.
I still wait in this sweet December awaiting her return…

How many times have I begged please?
No one answered me.
Am I doomed to spend here for eternity?
I have sometimes cried and laughed out of madness.
Other days passed when I ate no food.
They sometimes tied me in chains in this cold solitude place.
Out of hysteria I sometimes hid in corners
Only to be played by the callous wardens.
I bled, bled and bled,
My limbs twitching with pain.
With this blood I painted the walls
How much I have cried in and for December…

Was fate jealous of us?
Every night I cried in her arms
I slept in her lap.
Everything I could have,
Was from her.
One day, this was all gone.
My mind filled with love and yet pain,
It was all yet too much to bear.
My parents hit me.  Out of anger, fright,
And paranoia, I retaliated.  I hit the womb
That gave birth to me.  
As I am mad, I was hit, captured and thrown
Into a rehabilitation center.
My love grabbed my hands.  She cried with tears.
I screamed back.  She attacked the people in white.
I grabbed my hair out of anger.  I spread my hands
To not let go the one person who I loved.
I was being torn away from her.
I struggled, struggled and struggled to get lose.
She was dragged away from me.
I cried, screamed and fell unconscious.  
The only words I remember before I fell
Was that she would see me in December…

Now as I lay dying waiting for many a December,
The only thing she had forgotten to mention was when…

© Copyright 2002 sean_krazy - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-09-16 07:42 PM


Sean -

Some very strong work here.  There is a lot of sophistication in how you discuss the narrator's state, your description of his thought processes.  

I like your use of physical description to communicate non-physical aspects of the character's being.  That's a vital trait of all good symbolism, and you nailed it.  

Oh, and I love your first two lines.  I just came back and had to mention that.  A great opening.

Nice work.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
2 posted 2002-09-20 09:35 PM


Local's right, there is a lot of linguistic sophistication here and alot of raw emotion, both of which contribute to make a haunting read.
Well done.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

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