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Open Poetry #21
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RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533


0 posted 2002-06-26 08:26 AM



Her spirit was the first to flee
perched aloft life's apogee
and in it's leaving left
an empty stare,
alit, the light no longer there

Her mind was next, it's halting grind
seemed vexed then slow it's drain to blind
and in it's leaving left
me in despair,
my eyes were e'er a glassy pair

Her soul was last to leave the ship
beneath dark waves her vessel slipped
and in it's leaving left
my final prayer
for all the hope of this affair


"Happy people have no history" - French Proverb

[This message has been edited by RSWells (06-26-2002 01:27 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-06-26 09:21 AM


RSWells
A pleasent soft read. Liked the analogy.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2002-06-26 09:54 AM


Her spirit was the first to flee
perched aloft life's apogee
and in it's leaving left
an empty stare,
alit, the light no longer there
==============================

As always your words of rhyme impress, the vocab, analogies and repetative line of this, dressed up in your gift of cadence made this bittersweet beauty float with harmony when read aloud.
Very well done poet sir, good to read your rhymes again Richard.
jm

When your own emptiness is all thats getting through,
There comes a point when youre not sure why youre still talking,
I passed that point long ago.

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
3 posted 2002-06-26 10:24 AM


as portrayed not all relationships last..well penned


Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2002-06-26 10:26 AM


Mr. Wells....well done sir...I truly enjoyed....
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2002-06-26 10:39 AM


Achingly, hauntingly beautiful..
Expertly penned poet sir!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2002-06-26 11:21 AM



A sorrowful piece, here...
tender is the bleeding heart...

welcome home, Sir...you have been missed...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2002-06-26 03:14 PM


RS

Hard to see a relationship end, no matter the reason, it is like you said.  Well done!

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2002-06-26 04:32 PM


well done Sir. . . the end is always the hardest. . .

excellent flow and rhythm here. . . gave the words that certain power. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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