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Open Poetry #21
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summer haiku
| Open Poetry #21 |
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summer haiku |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Fireflies light the field, then she is gone again. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Ryan Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
RosePetal 
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
i like it ryan! i hope 2 see more haikus from u |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
The poetical master lives! *grins* Structured correctly or not, it still makes me confused about you. Any plans for tomorrow? Or tomorrow night? Or the next day? Wait, I know that one... Is she invited? Did she disappear too quickly? Maybe you should leave her a note for when she comes back. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
It certainly is nice to see you here. I liked this. It has a quiet message too. Simply lovely. How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Who is she? I dunno. That's a good point, I think I will make that line better sometime. Thanks for the replies. Ryan Today is the first day of summer I just noticed, so maybe that makes this a late spring haiku? I dunno. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) Oh Ryan, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I too hope to see many more lovely haikus from you, this is indeed a lovely spring-summer poem, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ryan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Well written.  Cold hands means a warm heart |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
its perfect as is! let the readers wonder who "she" is! |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
well written, loved it ~H~ Tracie Love is the life of the soul... |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
this poem speaks in volumes of emotion. a fine little construction you have here. |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
I've thought, and it won't be changing. It is what it is. Thanks again for all the replies. Without them, there wouldn't be any replies. Ryan |
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