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Open Poetry #21
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MIdsummerRain
Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri

0 posted 2002-06-12 02:27 AM


A  Foolish Reverie

I said hold me just once
    You wrapped your arms around me as
my breath flew from my heart
I whispered show me this night
    You took my hands & layed them
upon the stars
I moaned take me, my love
    You layed me under
our willow tree
I confessed I know nothing of this, love
    You caressed my face in your
tender hands, while your lips touched mine
I sighed I belong to you
    Your eyes shown bright
with admiration
I cried your name
     You knew; my innocence
was yours
I uttered my love?
    You came for my heart
knowing it was yours
______________________________________

She said  where is your lover tonight
     You smiled greedily with your lips;
you wanted what you came for
She whispered give me a star, love
    You glimpsed into the heavens
& found her that twinkle in my eye
She moaned show me, love
    You layed her down
by our Willow Tree
She confessed I can show you many things
    You came into her with force
knowing what she had to offer
She sighed you belong to me
    Your eyes were cold
with fear
She cried your name
    You knew; she was what
you cam for
She uttered what is it?
    You could see me
standing there
    


For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
    increases sorrow...
                  Eccl. 1:18

© Copyright 2002 Rayne Leigh - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2002-06-12 02:44 AM


That's quite twist between the two perspectives....very nicely done!
MidnightSon
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars
2 posted 2002-06-12 02:44 AM


wow....
i didn't see that coming.

what a frightening mirror. he shouldn't have taken her there...
but i guess the mistake starts a little further back, doesn't it?

a great, if hurtful, write.

"The soul is oftentimes a battlefield where reason and judgement wage war on passion and appetite."

ambermize
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 157
California
3 posted 2002-06-12 03:12 AM


I LOVED this....you have no idea.... It is beautiful, and relates to alot that I have been through....sometimes it is hard to express the other side becuase you dont want to feel that....but you did it for me .. BEAUTIFUL...*sigh*
DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
4 posted 2002-06-12 01:33 PM


I really liked the way you showed both sides.

                       Dawn

MIdsummerRain
Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri
5 posted 2002-06-13 02:17 PM


Ethome ~ TwIsT?!?! There was a twist?!? you are too sweet!
MidnightSon ~ It pleases me that you were suprised; & yes, this mistake happened a long time ago...He broke my heart with my consent, my friend
Ambermize ~ Your kindness overwhelms me! Thank you!
DawnG ~ Im so glad you enjoyed it!

With Much Admiration ~Rayne

For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
    increases sorrow...
                  Eccl. 1:18

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-06-17 07:21 PM




(smiles) Oh Rayne, this is wonderful, sweet friend, it saddened me to see the otherside of the circumstance but I know with a golden heart like yours you will find true loves happiness forever as they both will! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Rayne, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2002-06-20 09:20 AM


Oh, wow... I like this very much! *S* The second verse is so painful... a knife being twisted into a heart, wielded by the one who could do the most damage. Well done!
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
8 posted 2002-06-20 10:07 AM


The first verse was so sweet and filled with fulfillment and happiness. And then along comes verse number 2. The world could do without so many second verses, couldn't it? This is very well done, and it tells the tale.

Nan

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