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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-06-19 12:47 PM

This portrait so tidal

An endless stretch,
splitting the night
   with storms tapping
windows
darkness once fell
embraced by lonely hearts
  with vibrant silence

    a stillness     unable to touch, --

the   finger tip thoughts
   of holding --

A journeys step between here and there

That I could press
   my lips to    water
and taste the  roots
   of each    river that has
bended us together

That I could feel the ripples; --
    each strand of hair--
to hide  feelings

    Walls faded  in  growing seasons --
of long ago whispers;
that I could forget
the    days   of existing  for  nights
of peace --

Or how fragments of spring
   beneath  shade can
be exotic --
    a hint of color
for  baring    weeping  willows     new foliage

    {he has closed his eyes
a small start   in the big window}

In the rain    tonight
  I found the faint hint
of soft music  --
  gentle melody   of watercolors

Seeping across the landscape
   with gentle footsteps
gold on gold,   patchwork of shadows,
     images of emeralds

Riding the ghost to
  edges--
   leaning up against
the wall
rendezvousing    with   the raven-

Its been a long road
Getting from there to here
Ive known a wind so cold, seen the darkest days
but now the winds I feel are only winds of change

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (06-19-2002 11:50 AM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-06-19 12:52 PM

(smiles) This sounds like one of those the glass is full kind of poems, sweet friend, may we always commisserate with every rainstorm and find springs promise between the blinds, sweet friend, this is lovely, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (06-19-2002 12:53 AM).]

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2002-06-19 04:51 AM

You got what it takes kid!

You can weave soul into a poem!

                  "That I could press
                    my lips to    water
                 and taste the  roots
                    of each    river that has
                 bended us together"

Then these lines I love...

                "In the rain    tonight
                 I found the faint hint
               of soft music  --
                 gentle melody   of watercolors
               Seeping across the landscape
                  with gentle footsteps
               gold on gold   patchwork of shadows
                    images of emeralds

               Riding the ghost to
                 edges--
                  leaning up against
               the wall
               rendezvousing    with   the raven-"

Superb depth!

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

3 posted 2002-06-19 09:25 AM

A times beginning always has a times end ...
in turn each end begins another time.
Peaceful the soft music upon a rainy night,
a perfect time to find oneself at rest, both physical and spiritually.
A time to pass.

Excellent!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2002-06-19 09:31 AM

Lauren~YOU are one amazing writer...
and I so much enjoy reading your work...
but at times I am rendered speechless...
this being one of those times.
Therefore I shall just say, well done...
and thank you!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2002-06-19 04:25 PM

"This portrait so tidal"

this opening is amazing. . . "tidal" not in the sense of "tides", but "tidal" in the sense of "waves" eh??

"for  baring    weeping  willows     new foliage"

for some reason, I read this line like this: for  baring    (weeping willows)    new foliage. . . as if to say, "for baring new foliage on weeping willows"

but, I like your way much better. . . it reminds us that the spaces have as much impact as the words. . .

"rendezvousing    with   the raven-"

nevermore???  or perhaps, evermore. . .

well, you know that I'll read this again and again. . . and find way too many things inside the words. . . that's how I am. . . and that's how your work is. . . it's so many things. . . and it's a reflection of it's writer. . . simply amazing. . .

great work. . .

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2002-06-19 05:51 PM

Hi, this is terrific... especially loved these lines......

That I could press
   my lips to    water
and taste the  roots
   of each    river that has
bended us together

Excellent stuff!

Maree

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

7 posted 2002-06-19 05:57 PM

Hmmmmm....I see we have our black feathered
friend in this poem...

Lauren, you are writing awesome poems that
can be so many different moods within...
So soft, yet very bold..

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

8 posted 2002-06-19 06:05 PM

*She's struck again folks!*

This is amazing in pattern and woven intensity...

will be back to read again...

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

JAR
Junior Member

since 2001-11-06

Posts 34

9 posted 2002-06-20 10:14 AM

This portrait is tidal
I do know that

JAR

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