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Open Poetry #25
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Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610


0 posted 2003-02-28 04:59 PM




It came through here
Twisting more wildly than
the last
nearly damaging everything
I'd carefully peiced back
together
One monster of a storm
dark, ominous
threatening to consume
any in it's path with
a vengeance

Me

Treacherous heart!
betrayed me again
For there was no
shelter in you
Only a pat on the back
a mere token of goodwill
that chilled me
There was no hiding
place once my soul
lay bared

did you not see me
bleeding?


I chose, therefore
I must accept
scrapes, bruises
wounds, regrets

The skies have cleared
here I am
in stark contrast
to your biding
it was never the gods
but I, the damned


sunkissed.

"I have to hurry past the moon...to Jupiter..."

© Copyright 2003 R. T. M. - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2003-02-28 05:03 PM


Interesting...James
Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

2 posted 2003-02-28 05:05 PM




Thank you, James... I think!

(teasing)

Sunkissed.

"I have to hurry past the moon...to Jupiter..."

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-02-28 05:18 PM


you build in this a tension..that last throu out the piece and ends with an almost bitter shake of a futile fist at gods... within youself..


very nicely done... very nice indeed.


Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

4 posted 2003-02-28 05:20 PM


Thank you too, Captain... I think!  (chuckling)

Although I am in no way referring to any gods within myself because I do not think of myself on that level.  That part of the poem is literal.


Sunkissed.

[This message has been edited by Sunkissed (02-28-2003 05:41 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-02-28 08:32 PM




(sigh) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, you certainly do capture the moment with a shrewd eye, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-28-2003 08:33 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2003-02-28 09:07 PM


For there was no
shelter in you
Only a pat on the back
a mere token of goodwill
that chilled me

Damn straight!  

You capture the hollow feeling so well.

Very nice Sunkissed~

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-02-28 09:13 PM


I really enjoyed reading this one.....

Hugs,
Ethel

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