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Open Poetry #25
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sellout007
Member
since 2003-02-14
Posts 108
Suburbs of Chicago, IL

0 posted 2003-02-17 12:44 PM


~ I Gave You ~

I gave you an ear to listen,
when you needed to talk.

I gave you a shoulder to wet,
when you needed to cry.

I gave you a hug of comfort,
when you needed to be held.

I gave you a compliment to boost,
when you felt insecure.

I gave you an, ok no big deal,
when you needed forgiveness.

I gave you my breath,
when you needed to breathe.

I gave you my wings,
when you needed to soar.

I gave you my soul,
until you could find yours.

I gave all that i could,
when you needed it the most.

But it was through you, I found love.
Only through that love, was I capable of what I gave to you.



A dream is but a dream, you can wake up.  Reality is ultimate, and those who share it with us are far more important than anything we could remember,

[This message has been edited by sellout007 (02-17-2003 01:16 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Daniel Kelly - All Rights Reserved
Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-02-17 12:47 PM


Good poem... But the line

I gave all that i could,
when you need it the most.


Sorta kinda messed me up.. lol.. Try changing 'need' to needed.. It would make me feel better..

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

sellout007
Member
since 2003-02-14
Posts 108
Suburbs of Chicago, IL
2 posted 2003-02-17 12:48 PM


Opppssss.....TYPO!

All fixed! Thanks for the heads up! o)




A dream is but a dream, you can wake up.  Reality is ultimate, and those who share it with us are far more important than anything we could remember,

[This message has been edited by sellout007 (02-17-2003 12:49 PM).]

sellout007
Member
since 2003-02-14
Posts 108
Suburbs of Chicago, IL
3 posted 2003-02-18 12:35 PM


Hmmmmmm im open to suggestions too people! I have no problem with anyone ripping my lil poem apart o)

A dream is but a dream, you can wake up.  Reality is ultimate, and those who share it with us are far more important than anything we could remember,

sellout007
Member
since 2003-02-14
Posts 108
Suburbs of Chicago, IL
4 posted 2003-02-24 09:25 PM


Adding to library!

A dream is but a dream, you can wake up.  Reality is ultimate, and those who share it with us are far more important than anything we could remember,

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