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Passions in Poetry

Im not really mad ...

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Alexia
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Sweet And Sassy


0 posted 11-11-2002 05:59 PM       View Profile for Alexia   Email Alexia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alexia

Just confused I guess ... I didn't think it'd be right for the "feelings" but more the alley type. Anyways
There's this guy he's 25 and I'm 17 .. I was "dating" him for awhile, well since August. And Recently I just told him I wanted to be friends because I dont/didn't think it'd work out. And I have an older sister, she's 20. Well anyways he won't even talk to me now, cause I told him we could still chill and everything and I was out with some friends Friday ... he'd rather talk to my sister than me and he asked her out! I mean what a jerk. You just dont do that. But, I think the worst thing is my sister accepted. I can't deal with that. I mean, me and him had a thing for awhile.
And I thought he made a butt of himself for even asking her out. You just dont go and do something like that. I do not want my sister and him going out it'd be to werid and I just don't want it to happen. I dont know how to tell her that without sounding selfish. All she ever does is talk about him to make me mad, and she's like oh "George" said this and George said that. She rubs it in my face every chance she gets. I hate this. I hate it that they talk, I hate it that he asked her out.. I just hate the fact that, everything I told her about him she went and told him. I mean EVERYTHING. I said I think he's kinda to old for me and she went and told him. I mean I've went threw alot this last month that no one knows about except for one person. It's pretty said when I can't even turn to my own sister for help. She ruins everything. I swear if they do actually date and stuff, I'll never talk to neither of them again. Never. Sister's just don't do that to each other. I'm not trying to be selfish about this, I just think it's wrong. Gosh, I just don't know what to do anymore. Things just keep gettin worse. I know compared to some people, I dont have problems but to me they are problems that I just don't know how to deal with.
I mean does anyone else think this? I mean on his part too?

Lexi :/

Cheater's - There not worth your time and most of all not your tears.

nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


1 posted 11-11-2002 07:18 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Lexi, I remembered this posting you did  months ago about your sister and family http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum6/HTML/000755.html

First of all I would say a 25 year old is too old for a 17 year old to date...my opinion and probably the opinion of many parents.. 8 years difference is almost half your life in experiences...

And my next thought would be: What is wrong with this man..yes I said man, if he has to go looking for a girlfriend in someone as young as you...is there something wrong that women his own age can see and don't want to be around him?  that was my first concern
(I have a niece that ran away from home  many times to be with a 22 yr old when she was 15...caused a lot of heartache for her parents, aborted a child, then blamed her mother for making her come back home, then  had two more children by him later and then got married to him....after all that she divorced him two years later and he doesn't even bother to see his children.

That doesn't have much to do with your situation, but some teenagers and young women see a guy as a way out of an unhappy home life...and I would hate to see that happen to anyone, including you.
Next problem is your sister, who seems to want to outdo you at any cost.  She is wrong, more than he is, in going out with him.  You have said before you don't like her, don't trust her and yet you gave her all the information she needed to go after him. Don't confide in her anymore...and you can't make them not date..just remember you are smarter because you realized he wasn't good for you.
I wonder what your parents think of this  man/boy and his dating your sister?

Be proud of yourself for realizing he can only be your friend..and try to make friends with  guys and gals closer to your age and use this time of your life to have fun and that doesn't necessarily mean you must have a boyfriend..instead of boy friends...
wishing you some happiness
Maureen

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (11-11-2002 07:23 PM).]

Wind
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since 10-12-2002
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2 posted 11-11-2002 07:43 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

I agree. I see my friends dating 18-year-old guys and I can't help but think "what's wrong with them? It looks likethose guys are going to mollest them, they touch each other and it freaks me out. You were right to stop dating him and I think that both of them were wrong to do that to you.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will break my heart"

majnu
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since 10-13-2002
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3 posted 11-11-2002 10:22 PM       View Profile for majnu   Email majnu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for majnu

the fellow is an ass for asking your sister out.
however your sister is worse for accepting; the former is just bad form, the latter is betrayal.

a friend of mine (male), had a real tough home life too. he left at 18, got a job, a small place to live, and goes to JC part time. he is much happier, and he is in school. yeah it will take him a bit longer than others but he doesn't have to deal at home.

the point is you don't need an older guy to be happy. you need peace of mind and opportunity, even if you have to create the latter for yourself.

as for the age difference. my pop is a full 6 years older than my mom. in my culture it is the overwhelming trend for men to marry women several years younger. my grandmother tells me the reason is that the women hold up as time goes by better than the men (and a quick glance at my family tree will confirm that in my case).
the point is I know how the guys that you ladies were deriding feel. i grew up looking at girls my age as sisters. then as a HS student i wanted a girlfriend, but the girls my culture would have said I should look at were far too young, yet I could not get it out of my head that my female friends could be more than pals. that on top of normal adolescence has not been fun. even now at twenty, if I want to go out with a 16 year people will call me a pedophile. however, if an 18 year old senior goes out with the same girl its ok. it still messes with my head.

so while I am not defending the jerk in your case Alexia, please don't judge too quickly. one of those "pathetic guys who can't get a date with a girl his age" might be me.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

[This message has been edited by Nan (11-12-2002 08:42 PM).]

Midnitesun
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since 05-18-2001
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Gaia


4 posted 11-12-2002 02:23 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

I wouldn't make such a big deal out of it, personally. If you aren't interested but sis is, why should it even bother you? They are actually closer in age and may have more in common. Leave it alone, same as if it were a friend instead of a sister. I say leave it alone, and don't be angry or possessive or bent. Just keep moving on your own pathway.
But then again, I am just an old woman.
Opeth
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since 12-13-2001
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The Ravines


5 posted 11-12-2002 07:39 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

A 25 year old man should not be dating a 17 year old young woman.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


6 posted 11-12-2002 10:33 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

majnu

I was not deriding the guy.. and  I can see if in the late 20's or older the age difference  may work..but 25-17 is different and one would hope that maturity-wise, experience-wise you can understand that...I am not talking cultural and  if you can't then you are proving my point.
and I don't mean this as sarcasm, just as fact.

*s
M

Opeth
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since 12-13-2001
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The Ravines


7 posted 11-12-2002 10:50 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

Not only that, it can be stated with much certainty, that the majority of 25 year old men are looking for a relationship that will include sex.  And in most states, it is against the law for a 25 year old to have sex with a 17 year old.
nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


8 posted 11-12-2002 01:56 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Opeth, I had a long reply for the above but the phone rang and my computer shut down...yes the law is an important factor although so many don't care..but I was trying to get across that it is not friendship they want..you replied with my thoughts...

M
The Napkin Writer
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since 06-28-2002
Posts 72


9 posted 11-12-2002 02:52 PM       View Profile for The Napkin Writer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Napkin Writer

You should just be careful of how much more of your time and energy you are willing give to individuals who obviously have little regard for your feelings in the first place.

“I think in that place where you find the hatred and meanness for your sister and George is the place where “evil” is born.“  Don’t fall into that trap of hate and non-forgiveness, because once you do, you become judge and jury of every little thing no matter how small.  

As such, in this place or state of mind, we forgot about the progress and sacrifices we have made to obtain our goals in life.  Once more, our hearts become so bitter, that we have a tendency to block out potential future love.  Our minds become so embroidered revenge, pain, loneliness and skepticism, that we start finding it hard to believe that someone else will love us unconditionally, and without some sort of larceny in their heart.

Don’t hate them for what they done!  Embrace them!  Bless them!  Then send them on their way!  And you get yourself on track to wherever it was you were headed before this whole thing started.

If George and your sister don’t make it, and he’s gone away, then you are left with this hate this man has cause between you and your sister. “Blood is thicker than water!”  Life has a thousand and one more lessons for you to learn and live by.  Just don’t waste your early years getting caught up in this foolishness, because it takes “too many years” to drain the foolishness, hatred and bitterness from your heart and mind.  If you choose to stop trusting your sister, then don’t trust her, but by all means, don’t ever stop loving her, because that is where evil waits to take us away….. “in our own hatred of each other.”

The Napkin Writer
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


10 posted 11-12-2002 05:04 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

he's too old for you

don't be upset

nothing wrong with him dating your sister

my sister and i exchanged boyfriends for years... it was fun
Alexia
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since 06-07-2001
Posts 626
Sweet And Sassy


11 posted 11-12-2002 06:46 PM       View Profile for Alexia   Email Alexia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alexia

I get your guys points, and thanks for so many replies.
I would eventually get over it. It would just kind of hurt to see them together because I did have feelings for him at one time. And he is to mature for me, he wants more in the relationship than I do. I'm not ready to settle down and get engaged and all that stuff. He is, I dont really think my sister is either. He didn't want sex because I was with him for a few months and we never had sex, because I wouldn't with him. And basically I tryed the relationship with him and his age kept popping back up in my mind when i would kiss him ... because he just kisses like an old guy lol. I would feel uncomfortable with them together around me and I told her that ... I dunno I want her to be happy though. So I guess i'd just have to deal with it. We've shared guys before ... Kinda.
My friend told me I was selfish. I'm not trying to be or sound like it. I guess they'd just have to be in my situation to understand how I feel. None of my friends have sister's except for one and they don't even talk, they despise each other. Today my sister talked to me about all this and she's like I care about how you'd feel about me dating him. She's like I dont want you to be mad at me. I told her to do whatever she wanted. All I'd have to do is leave when ever there together here or something. Besides I'm moving out next year after I graduate. I might even move out my senior year and share an apartment with one of my friends. I haven't decided yet.
Oh, and I have plenty of guys my age that I am friends with, it's just they are so imature. Some aren't to bad though.

Alexia
Alexia
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since 06-07-2001
Posts 626
Sweet And Sassy


12 posted 11-17-2002 05:51 PM       View Profile for Alexia   Email Alexia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alexia

ok just an update on this situation ...
This weekend I met up with him and my sister was with me. And he had the NERVE to call ME stuck up and he was the one being stuck up because he didn't even say hi to me at first and he didn't even speak to me. He went to the passenger side and talked to my sister instead of talking to me. What a LOSER! And then he had the nerve to go up to his friend put his arm around me and said she thinks im to old for her ... I guess i'm an old man. And that guy was like well how old r u? (talkin to me) and I was like 17 and he's like well by god what are you from kentucky George?. At least i'm not the only one who thinks he's to old for me. He irks my tator... I know he still wants me but then he flirts with my sister to try to make me jealous. I think he knows i'm not king on the idea of them two dating. JERK. He wasn't worth my time and still isn't. He got jealous because I was with some other guy saturday and I let him drive my car. It took George forever for me to let him drive my car. But I drove him truck all the time. Ah well ..
Guys can be so freakin stupid sometimes .. eww Im fed up with all the b.s.

Alexia

Cheater's - There not worth your time and most of all not your tears.

 
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