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Instead
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Instead |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Instead of everything We spite said, Of love that was like song to us Instead of what our hearts tell us Instead Of everything else Do you know me well? Instead, everyday, Passes so slowly, The time and the words that was written In an open book, And all the way we stood In a open road, Walking Instead Of everything we wanted It to do, Instead falling rain Calling names Instead love that would stay the same Instead of every page of a book Was shone In It Is light Instead, In spite of everything we said And If the song was never written Instead In spite of everything we said And If the song was never written Instead, The song was sung by you Instead of eveything we said Instead.... [This message has been edited by vandana (03-07-2002 11:33 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 vandana - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
vandana I really liked the feel of this..the way you repeated "instead" throughout..made me think that there was so much more between the lines needing to be written, instead. Left me feeling a bit sad. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I couldn't agree more, I just love the way you use repetition to emphasize your emotions and send us deepe rin your thoughts, sweet friend, this is excellent! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is wonderful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Vandana, thak you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
agree with Martie here... the repitition reinforces the idea and feel of this piece. Nicely written my friend...and evokes in me the same sense of sadness Martie notes |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I enjoyed this, vandana... It leaves a feeling of wistfulness... that something should have been, but instead - wasn't. Well done. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Sadness fills this poem with feelings of regret for something that should have been...My heart goes out to you...for these feelings are ones I have felt as well...**big big hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
enjoyed |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
"Instead.... " there's a sadness here my friend, one that's not borne of loss. . . but yet, it is, isn't it?? well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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