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Open Poetry #19
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-02-28 01:26 AM


What's wrong with you?

The answer lies.
A puzzle, hidden
beneath smooth mannerism
of glib conditioned response...
and even the honesty
of hesitance made you go away,
to turn your back to me
rejection of my refusal
to continue this game
played for the sake
of convenience.

Comfort in familiar things--
a blanket across a shoulder, bared.
Imperfections
unforgiving
standing nude beneath the glare
of the unflattering truth--
audacity in a bare light bulb,
hanging on a twisted wire,
dangerous in sway.

I took the picture down today.

Finally understanding
that the images had not changed
but the walls of frame
had yellowed
from too many years
of staring in question
through the smoke
of my chained addiction
to the photogenic qualities
of what we used to be--
now faced with the square
of nothingness
left with choice
to flip a coin--
is this just reminder
of what we used to be,
or a canvas
white and pristine
awaiting the brush
in potential?

"We've got mice," I whispered.
"They came in from the cold..."

"I'll kill them," promised
my valiant knight.

I stared into space and replied,
"No."

I wanted something
to feel warmth.
I needed to sustain a life.

Something
had found
comfort here.

[This message has been edited by serenity (02-28-2002 01:56 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-02-28 08:13 AM


Comfort in familiar things--
a blanket across a shoulder, bared.
Imperfections
unforgiving
standing nude beneath the glare
of the unflattering truth--
audacity in a bare light bulb,
hanging on a twisted wire,
dangerous in sway.

I took the picture down today.

Finally understanding
that the images had not changed
but the walls of frame
had yellowed
from too many years
of staring in question
through the smoke
of my chained addiction
to the photogenic qualities
of what we used to be--
now faced with the square
of nothingness
left with choice
to flip a coin--
is this just reminder
of what we used to be,
======================================

for some things, there just seems nothing need be said, I wish I was there to hug you instead.

"Never made it as a wise man
couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin
Tired of livin like a blind man
sick of sight without a sense of feelin"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-02-28 08:39 AM


what JM said.....


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2002-02-28 08:47 AM


Serenity,
You write very well. I always enjoy your read

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2002-02-28 10:39 AM


Serenity darling girl oh this is sooooooo good, the flow is perfect. Truly outstanding as always, you are such a fine poet. The truth in this is so clear it shines. YOU really do write exceptionally well

Wonderful writing utterly wonderful


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2002-02-28 10:49 AM


enjoy
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

6 posted 2002-02-28 10:51 AM


yes, what JM said.  Hugs to warm you dear one.  HUGS

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
7 posted 2002-02-28 10:57 AM


*sigh* such a little thing to have found comfort there but in doing so it somehow gave you back a feeling of helping to not destroy a life....Magnificent..I love it..**big big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2002-02-28 01:13 PM


Hugs from here also
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2002-02-28 01:21 PM


Smiling...you guys are the sweetest people. Only the mood and the mice are real.

Actually inspired by an exodus of mice through my back doggy door last night...there is no bare bulb dangling on a wire, I promise!

But the mouse thing was kinda freaky, my gas stove is located by the door--and the mice were popping their heads through the burners, sort of like that bopping head game at Chuck E. Cheeses! I tried to kill one, but they ARE cute, darnit! rofl...and the rest of the poem..just metaphor for a long term relationship...no biggie, no worries!

Love you all!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

10 posted 2002-02-28 03:31 PM


Finally understanding
that the images had not changed
but the walls of frame
had yellowed
from too many years
of staring in question
through the smoke
of my chained addiction
to the photogenic qualities
of what we used to be--
now faced with the square
of nothingness

Love the visual of this.  And the mice thing...same thing happened to me last year.  I caught as many of the babies as I could (before the cats did) and let them go outside.  Hmmm...wonder if I was just catching the same mouse over and over?!?

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2002-02-28 03:33 PM


personally. . . I don't find mice all that cute. . .

but, I do like this poem. . . it's amazing what will inspire, isn't it???

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2002-02-28 03:43 PM


two years ago I had one peeping through the burners..when my husband reached for it, it ran up his arm. He put it in a pot and swirled it to make it dizzy then threw it outside...I have a cat but she doesn't care about mice...I know that mouse came back the following day. I think it liked the spin it got. *s

M

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