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Dependence |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Before the land preserves its dying cloud, before our mouths amass and scream to bronze, there silence lies; and in this silence dotes a swaying curve, that into each release thrusts glee and gore as always on with peace. Remember her and love for which she dives, the grey-gold sun with which she once awoke, the pasty blushing cheeks on which you land your only kiss; for when her mountain-lips are strewn with cold and frost-like verity, you may forget--'t was you that led the sun seep through her stretched and aching fingertips. [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (03-29-2003 12:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
The imagery and tone of this poem are really good. I enjoyed this alot, though I'm not sure if the word gore is appropriate in the first stanza. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This read through like a sonnet. Without all the rhyming. But seriously, just like a sonnet otherwise... really, really well done here, Carly. I loved this. It's a bit different for your style, but some of your same usual elements are ever-present, like your use of second-person, description of the third party and comparison between the second and third-person figures.... you just love this kind of poem, I know, because you love pointing your finger at the reader and giving them something to feel personally from the poem. You're good at that stuff, too. Your imagery, geez, it's just Carly imagery. You have a mastery over words that makes your images almost impossible to concieve because of how unworldly they are. I very much admire the talent you employ in this piece.... As for the poem's meaning, well, talk to me on MSN. This one isn't too terribly deep, but I still like its meaning...  Very well done, sweetheart... great to see you still writing. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great writing Carly, I'm glad I got to read this as it is just so rich with imagery. Thank you for sharing it with us. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
In fact, it makes me want to see you actually WRITE a sonnet. Please? Faith is a fine invention |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
gOD, you have a way with images |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
interesting..I haven't read anything by you before, but thenagain, I just started coming back here. i like the way this was written..I will look for more in the future |
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