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Passions in Poetry

fragrance that she left behind

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 05-18-2002 01:57 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

something so familiar
a lingering of memory
bewitching in the similar
haunting peace of reverie

something foreign in the air--
a tune in haunt of joyless mind...
An empty room boasts clues of her
the fragrance that she left behind.

I see traces on the wall,
cameos of love's rewind.
I search into the sheets; unrest
for fragrance that she left behind.


       *   *   *


for you, C...

[This message has been edited by serenity (05-18-2002 03:08 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
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1 posted 05-18-2002 06:52 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I see traces on the wall,
cameos of love's rewind.
I search into the sheets; unrest
for fragrance that she left behind.
======================================


cameos of love's rewind.


how perfect of a line is that...
pure poetry lovie...( you are)

How long can a girl be haunted by you ...
Soon I'll grow up and I wont even flinch at your name.

Alanis Morissette

Poet deVine
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2 posted 05-18-2002 09:27 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

...sigh...
bsquirrel
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3 posted 05-18-2002 06:29 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I'm with Sharon -- you're too good for the room. Out with you! Out! *hugs* Kidding, silly.



Y' rock.

Mike

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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4 posted 05-18-2002 07:15 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

HEY...I wasn't under pressure either...smile...one of the fringes of perpetually tardy! YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

and? ty!
Dominique-Simone
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since 11-12-2005
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5 posted 01-02-2006 05:25 PM       View Profile for Dominique-Simone   Email Dominique-Simone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dominique-Simone

Very intresting.. good job
Brian James
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since 06-26-2005
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6 posted 01-03-2006 04:00 PM       View Profile for Brian James   Email Brian James   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brian James

Love your critique flag.  Maybe I should lay on the compliments.

I was going to say that this poem seems unfinished, but usually when I say things like that, I end up being wrong---or, I'm just seeing something you intended (as in, it's supposed to seem unfinished because it's inconclusive, it expresses a broken sentiment, a kind of emptiness).  You have this wonderful habit of inviting your readership to feel the way you do, and it's especially effective in this little poem, where the imagery comes only halfway into the poem and the sentiment and atmosphere dominate.  It's kind of like leading us into a poem blindfolded and then building us up for things as simple as "room" and "walls."  

Somehow I always expect you to write in unconventional ways (which you sometimes do), but I'm starting to appreciate the very conventional aspects of your writing style.  It really helps your writing to feel more sincere (which I don't doubt that it is) for you to rely on its content so heavily... it's kind of the reverse of the way I write (since form is secondary to substance in your writing, and vica versa with me).  You remind me of Emily Dickinson at her most emotional, or William Blake at his least mystical.

As always, this is superb... the combination of apparently disconnected concepts like beds and unrest, boasting and clues, et cetera, make this uniquely Serenity.  Thanks for sharing.

Brian
Christopher
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7 posted 01-03-2006 07:05 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

And I missed this how?

Go fijjer.

It is an eternal search. You know what I've learned since this time, though, k? Even if I find that fragrance, it turns out it wasn't really the one I was looking for in the first place...

I appreciate Brian's comments almost as much as your writing - he managed to sum up something that I've felt about your work for so long, but never put words to: you're one of the most unconventional people I've ever known... yet somehow manage to put it in conventional phrasing that even I can grasp.

Hugs and stuff and thanks for the memory of a memory.
Alwye
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8 posted 04-11-2006 02:51 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Incredibly melancholy-- this made me feel so wistful.

I love your poetry.  Always have.     You're one of the ones that keeps me coming back here.  

~*Krista Lee Knutson*~

"Creating yourself is a spiritual act." ~ Susan Vreeland

Mysteria
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9 posted 04-11-2006 12:45 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Yes!  That's it Bri, Emily Dickenson when she was beside herself!  This smart lady takes the complexities in her head, sorts them out, then says it for even us common folk to enjoy, and that I appreciate.  I had never read this before and funny, this reminds me now of just so many people.

Waste not a second ~ Carpe' Diem

Allysa
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10 posted 04-11-2006 02:13 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

cameos of love's rewind.

I would have to say that is my favorite line. I love reading you, lady, you always seem to leave me speechless and pondering.

<3
latearrival
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since 03-21-2003
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11 posted 04-19-2006 05:48 PM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

"fragrance that she left behind"

Truly enjoyed this one. Makes me want to ask, What fragrance do you leave behind? Any one.. I happen to love Obsession..
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


12 posted 04-19-2006 05:54 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

It's usually a combination of musk and smoke.



thanks for reading, and if my memory serves me well, this was written from either a challenge or a phrase originated by Christopher.

Now it reminds me of my sister--I was given her scarves and a few other things and they all smell of Chanel...

latearrival
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13 posted 04-19-2006 06:02 PM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

That is interesting.  Smoke   and musk. LOL
I remember my mother's fragrances. Emeraude and Tweed. I bought a small vial of the first. I do not remember the smell of Tweed. The Emeraude does nothing for me except I remember it on her.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


14 posted 04-19-2006 10:10 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

martyjo?

I don't know if you have access (or even interest) in the Mature Content forum, but I did want you to know you inspired me to quite a giggle at myself:
http://piptalk.com/main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayprivate&number=68&topic=000326


thanks lovie

I pray you are well m'friend.
latearrival
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15 posted 04-20-2006 04:16 AM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

Checked and posted.Thanks for the wink.. martyjo
Christopher
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16 posted 04-20-2006 12:02 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

close, k - it was either bsquirrel or Sharon (poet devine) that originated the phrase - we were challenging each other to quickly write poems based off of certain phrases - i think the average time frame per poem was about 5-10 minutes. i came in late and had to catch up. http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum55/HTML/000178.html

again - thanks for the memory of a memory of a memory...
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


17 posted 04-20-2006 08:55 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Ah...would that I could, C, I would hire you to be my "memory".

Or at least make some newer better ones.

Love you good daddy guy.
Musicmaker1969
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18 posted 05-23-2006 03:10 AM       View Profile for Musicmaker1969   Email Musicmaker1969   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Musicmaker1969's Home Page   View IP for Musicmaker1969

A deeply moving poem.  I especially, like the others, love Cameos.  It is full of emotion and I could feel the longing in it.  If this was done by a poetry challenge, you did an excellent job.

Sheri Adams

Jesus lives in my heart!  He can in yours too!!!
Sheri Liegh Adams
sheriliegh@sympatico.ca

Christopher
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19 posted 05-23-2006 02:16 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

iliana
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20 posted 06-08-2006 04:30 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

Karen, my heart pinged with this one.  It brought to my mind a string of hippie beads someone I loved wore and gave me in 1969.  I still have those beads.  The scent has fadded now...but for the first few years I had them, I would hold them up and take a sniff and oh...well, you know...and you expressed this so very perfectly.  I'm keeping this and tho' my remember scent was for a man and not a family member, there was love and OMG...I can nearly smell those silly beads and him again.     .....jo
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


21 posted 06-08-2006 02:13 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Just rub 'em with patchouli oil and carry them around under yer armpit for a day or two.

I'll bet THAT'S the scent he left behind...

 
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