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Open Poetry #18
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Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-01-17 07:24 PM





~Rambling On~



And you held
Your hands out
I watched as you
Stood on the curb
Cigarette held
To enlightened lips
Between your fingers,
Wisdom spilling from your
Palms
It was all you had
Maybe not
You might have laughed
Thrown your head back
But heaven paused,

I stood next to you,
And could hear songs
From a haunted past
Reveal pictures of light,
Spiral blue in contrast

I’ve often wondered
If black was the feeling
You might own?
And if, would it describe
The inner child, your being?
Does it move inside you?
Each day, like the last?

All of midnight
Sweeping over the cool black
And the frost
Lays heavy
On wings of steel


Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain



[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-17-2002 07:30 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-01-17 07:29 PM




WOW!!! Very deep and poignant sentiments, sweet friend, such mysterious beauty and cadence fill your words! (sigh) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is so wonderful! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

2 posted 2002-01-17 07:36 PM


Oh my this is so nice green eyes. I love the last few lines. floria
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-01-17 07:47 PM


Lauren~Every thing you pen is as though each and every word was pondered over and chosen specifically for one particular position in your piece.....your writing is exquisite!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2002-01-17 07:59 PM


Greeneyes...I have to echo Nancy's thoughts.
You certainly convey a great degree of
thought in each line...well written...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2002-01-17 09:11 PM


Greeneyes - your poetry is excellent. I enjoy every write of yours...

BC

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
6 posted 2002-01-17 09:19 PM


Beautiful work, Greeneyes...
This poem seems, not so much written....as carved out of a precious material.
Each word, carries it's own weight.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Nightshade
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just out of reach
7 posted 2002-01-17 09:32 PM


Greeneyes - this is beckons me to read it again...and again. Well done. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Midnitesun
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Gaia
8 posted 2002-01-17 09:46 PM


Incredible write, Lauren. Your words always flow with thoughtful emotion.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

9 posted 2002-01-17 10:05 PM


This read like a story
with expectancy.  I like
that in a piece and I
understood it too!

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
10 posted 2002-01-17 10:26 PM


Wow, I like your rambling. I agree with Nancy...this piece is exquisite indeed. Very, very well done

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2002-01-17 11:47 PM


you flow very well with this one. . .

it's got a lot of feeling. . . well done. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
12 posted 2002-01-18 12:05 PM


I have seen this side of midnight, you described it well.
Your rambles are consistantly drawing, pulling me to depths I enjoy.
Thank you for sharing yet another jewel of your thoughts.

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

13 posted 2002-01-18 12:12 PM


your ability to make people feel what you're feeling when you write is truly astonishing.
Bravo!
-Dave

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2002-01-18 12:46 PM


And you held
Your hands out
I watched as you
Stood on the curb
Cigarette held
To enlightened lips
Between your fingers,
Wisdom spilling from your
Palms
It was all you had
Maybe not
You might have laughed
Thrown your head back
But heaven paused,



I stood next to you,
And could hear songs
From a haunted past
Reveal pictures of light,
Spiral blue in contrast

I've often wondered
If black was the feeling
You might own?
And if, would it describe
The inner child, your being?
Does it move inside you?
Each day, like the last?

=========================================

Have we shared the same stars ...walked the same roads...cried the same tears....
every time you write a piece of me ... and it takes me back...takes my breath...
then I remember...you too heard the whispers and cries of a butterfly.




Xeonox
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Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
15 posted 2002-01-18 01:48 AM


This is a very awesome poem. I just have nothing else to say.

Great job.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

16 posted 2002-01-18 06:19 AM


Lauren if I just said wonderful would it be enough.  You know LC, you know, just how much I love your words hon...Hugs to you.

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
17 posted 2002-01-18 07:52 AM


Greeneyes,
A gem a veritable emerald of passion. Loved it!
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
18 posted 2002-01-18 10:58 AM


Noah~

Thank you for your vibrant replies

~~

Floria~

I appreciate you stopping by...thank you..

~~

Nancy~

I so enjoy your thoughts, they always leave me with a smile...HUGS

~~

Magnus~

Thank you for your comments....    

~~

Bill~

As i enjoy yours, thanks much..

~~

Madame Chipmunk~

As does your reply, appreciate that much...hugs...

~~

Nightshade~

For your words, I thank you....

~~

Midnitesun~

I so enjoy your words, they are very lifting...hugs...

~~

Irish Rose~

Thank you, for always replying as you do....hugs...

~~

Tracey~

thank you for reading my ramble...hugs
~~




Lauren~


*****


Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain



[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-18-2002 11:01 AM).]

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2002-01-18 11:09 AM


Sven~

You always have the right words, I aprreciate that...hugs

~~

Craig~

Oh the long nights on this side of midnight, there's an understanding there, I know you know...I appreciate you...hugs...

~~

Dave~

Thank you for your feelings....I always appreciate your comments...

~~

Janet Marie~

Yes I believe we have...same feelings and roads...tears, and stars...and I hear the whispers all the time...

~~

Xeonox~

I appreciate your thoughts, thank you much....

~~

Donna~

You do indeed have a gentle spirit, and with every words it shows..HUGS.. my friend...

~~

Kethry~

Thank you, from these gems of green...hugs to you...
~~~~~


Lauren~



Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain


[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-18-2002 11:11 AM).]

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

20 posted 2002-01-19 12:30 PM


i can't bear it, i just have to bump this. so, here goes.....
*takes a deep breath*
BUMP!!!!!
whew!
hehehehehe.
-Dave

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
21 posted 2002-01-19 11:04 AM


Dave~

I've never been bumped before... thank you...


Lauren~

Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain

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