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Open Poetry #17
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Oblique
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Oblique |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Rewrite Repost: Oblique I cannot stop These thoughts of toss Like unkept beards Of Spanish moss. Flushing my mind Fruitful of guile If ocular Would make you smile. Sit my table Sputtering spawn Breakfast with me. Way past the dawn Wiling my mind Rainbows of days Fill the seams yet Status quo stays. Still, I hear dogs bark Squeaking in the floor The cats meow Moaning of the door. But if she were here They'd all disappear. [This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (edited 11-27-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
when alone thoughts atone for all was done alone as one but let my friend come on through all past is past we see new views... love it when you inspire me.... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This reminded me of my mom...and I have seen and felt this same remarkable change of spirit in myself and others. A beautiful illustration here. Good mornin' sy.  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, That is my desire to inspire. *L* Serenity, Good morning Serenity, I wish you well this day. *L* |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Well done, Seymour!!! The only thing I'd change is remove the and from the last line of the 2nd to last stanza. Wow! this was so good, I didn't expect the last stanza, fantastic use of surprise in your conclusion. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
VAS, Thank you for the help, made some changes. *L* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Breakfast with me. Way past the dawn Wiling my mind Rainbows of days Fill the seams yet Status quo stays. Still, I hear dogs bark Squeaking in the floor The cats meow Moaning of the door. But if she were here They'd all disappear. ======================================== "she is here Stinky dear... and shes serving raspberry tea for breakfast  and there aint NOTHING "Oblique" about you or your poetry.. both leave a lasting impression *winkiewinkie*  mehe said ... "dont cry" ... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Enjoyed this one Sy. Love the lines about unkept beards being like Spanish moss..... hugs, Nancy. ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Sy, thanks for the repost. I missed it first time around. Well done. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
wonderful poetry... my friend, Seymour... regards to you, sudhir |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, Today I'm just in the mood for your raspberry tea. Love ya Sy Nancy, I liked it too. *L* Interloper, Thanks for the well done. Sudhir, Warm regards and thanks my friend. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
....and you would only have ears for her...yes, I understand that perfectly, Sy |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* oh yes, when the one we love is near all other sounds seem to somehow fade away. Very well done. I love this one. **hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
How heart rendering this is, Sey. Wishing you peace. Cor |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, Yes you better then anyone. LOL Startime, Thank you sweet. *L* Corinne, Yhank you so much. *L* |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Never oblique. Very deeply thoughtful and magical. Thanks for sharing again..as I am glad to be new to many of your works. You are perfectly poetically inclined. Sincerely, Regina It's all in the mind |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Rwood, I could ask no more. *L* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy...this is a poem treasure! To decorate this aging |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
Sy, This is one for me to keep Close by my heart for me to reach I enjoyed this very much. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You brought back memories of Spanish moss dangling from the trees in Tallahassee, and oblique thoughts crossed my path. Your words are so beautiful, so evocative of happier past times. "Wiling my mind Rainbows of days Fill the seams yet Status quo stays" |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, Treasure from you is true treasure. *L* Peaches, Thank you so much. Midnitesun, Your thoughts are my thoughts. *L* |
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