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Open Poetry #16
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Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635


0 posted 2001-10-03 05:38 PM


On a Ramp[of]age

struggling
against the common
of her sense
tense lines configuring
facial overtones
underneath
all in the habit of
waiting for the shoe to drop
holding her breath
knowing what's around
the corner
and her boogieman still
in the closet
she still
won't
let
go

~*~

advice comes over and over
through lines of mother’s face
stilled by father’s grace and
what they said sure
stands true “take
good care
of you”
but

never did they admit
that times could
be troubling
so downwardly
the spiral goes
tornadic in
its effortless
still no one
knows the
inner mess
that will
seize
her
day
by
day

she cares too much to
let you in and that’s
indeed her greatest
sin for give and
give she gave
her all but no
one knew of
her recall
to times
that had
bent her
spine and
no one
would
let her
ever
un
  w
i
  n
d

give her just the gist of gall
and she will give you all
recall to laughing times
and days of ease, she
captures you a hint
of breeze she
tumbles with
her every
word but
no one
will admit
they
heard

the silent scream that’s trapped
therein, and gasped aloud she
silently spins through the
mist of days and nights
still she holds her self
so tight she will one
day give you a
call but for
now don’t
hold your
breath
at all


© Copyright 2001 Decaflame - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-10-03 05:45 PM


stormy indeed with form matching word to add to the effects....

very powerful write..and one well done..

I enjoyed

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-10-03 06:24 PM


wow, wow, wow   I truly wish I could write like you  
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2001-10-03 06:27 PM


and you know what I got from this?  Kids!  I felt you were echoing my thought of my conversations with my son in this.

~I always have time to listen to someone talking from their heart~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2001-10-03 08:30 PM


Like this a lot. Stylishly done, too.
Sandra

sunshinemist
Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist
5 posted 2001-10-03 08:33 PM


Dceaflame,

Very nice and terrific style. Enjoyed!  
~Marie~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2001-10-03 08:37 PM


Deca--Powerful write...let loose here!  Well done!
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