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Open Poetry #16
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The Whore of Babylon
| Open Poetry #16 |
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The Whore of Babylon |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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then suicide be my refrain again again through onion skin until the nothing bold--remains... dicing knife through years of fears-- should prayer as well, be vein cut deep, I pray for goblet for blood's keep. every word a chink in mail... strength in vulnerability flesh a-pulsed in quickening the urge to dance a beckoning: "Come hither, all," I beg. "Come see." Through shadows of the veil--heart beats. dance I, removed... intensity too long subdued. I fear myself, the treachery. I fear myself unleashed on me. the Whore of Babylon--romanced... (life can never be the same) even though each sun shines new accordingly to phase of moon-- Corners--FOUR they hear my plea-- comfort's ground beneath my feet the sympathy of angels wings-- in symphony the angels sing... I loose my venom on blue page. Stars a-twinkle in the sky a trail of tears of Gods that cry, each beam of light that draws me near is Goddess--blinking back the tears. I stand alone in weep of Fates and hone the blade to kill the sage. I weep for heart of him who keeps these words that nail coffin of me. Whore of Babylon--unloved... My sisters? Lovely luck of rhyme. My brothers be the strength of me. My parents, all I hope to be. My friends were just swift kick of ass... Myself, the whore's eternal task. Crucifixion of the flesh Ambition Holy Holiness... I am the Whore of Babylon. *disclaimer* Please keep in mind that this is a metaphorical reference--I DO not advocate suicide nor do I have suicidal tendencies. The first two stanza's were inspired in part by a quote used by Ron in Voices on the Web's intro with Ron Carnell's reference to Red Smith regarding writing as 'easy': "All you have to do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein." The rest has many sources, mainly Biblical. But I thank you all for your kindness and patience. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 10-03-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
this is a very interesting take on a story that was never quite told - more implied - it's convincing enough, that's for sure. wonderful imagery, and obviously SOME element of this story ties to you irl, because this is more heartfelt than i had expected from the title. beautiful writing, even if it's a little sad. -Napalm I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The AM! |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
i suddenly feel the seam pronounced, whores of babylon is the name of my fathers band, i just saw him, last, september, early, the 7th, i love your poem Kindly, |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Very interesting poem, K. I like the references to onion paper (medieval), blood oaths (medieval), the Grail (medieval), allusions to the famed Quatrains (early renaissance), Gypsy stories, Knight Templars, the Kabbal, Revelations, and the Crucifixion. Did I miss anything?  Oh yes, the Ascension of Spirit. LOLGood one! Alicat |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Between the lines dance I, removed... intensity too long subdued. I fear myself, the treachery. I fear myself unleashed on me. Yes.... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Serenity, You have a full measure of emotion. But an unlikely potion. It's good to let it out once in a while. Enjoyed the read. *L* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
If flow of ink be cut of vein then suicide be my refrain again again through onion skin until the nothing bold--remains... Every cut produces tears dicing knife through years of fears-- should prayer as well, be vein cut deep, I pray for goblet for blood's keep. Each word a quest for Holy Grail; every word a chink in mail... strength in vulnerability flesh a-pulsed in quickening the urge to dance a beckoning: "Come hither, all," I beg. "Come see." Through shadows of the veil--heart beats. Between the lines dance I, removed... intensity too long subdued. I fear myself, the treachery. I fear myself unleashed on me. ====================================== I have always said of you...that you would bleed rhyme and poetry when cut...... this proves my point..... this is a brilliant piece of writing you took your poetry to a higher level with this one the employ of extended metaphor is worked to poetic perfection as is the imagery and rhyme. also impressive is the work that went into this...the research and intelligence of the piece. Brilliant writing Karen. The poem stands on its own... the disclaimer speaks to need for the reader to open their minds.... this reader included. We're all feeding our lonely ... like it might go away, |
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Topheth Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297Texas |
Beautifully done. 'I fear myself unleashed on me.' |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
A collage of images And styles Very nicely done Gloom |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I find this an EXCELLENT poem...and it does reflect the writers curse... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Karen, I had to do a bit of research myself to see where you were coming from to do this wonderful piece. Janet Marie has covered a lot of it, but it is unbelievable the work you did to pull this together and link Revelations (especially Chap. 7) with the Kabbala, and your use of metaphors in this poetry was superb. Yes - you took your writing to an extremely high level with this one, and I hope you are wearing your "proud hat" today girl, as you sure deserve it. I printed this one out and intend to study it a bit more yet, so expect an email  ~I always have time to listen to someone talking from their heart~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey D--want to thank you for being so brave to be the first to reply---this is one I did grapple with for a long time...I usually write "straight to keys" most of my work is written in 15 minutes or less...but this is one that was "slow cooked"---thanks again. Amelia, great name for a band...grin...and I would LOVE to hear something by them. If something is available, let me know! it's always a joy to see you here my friend!  Ali--a knight in shining armor! that's what you are! HUGS! R--methinks what you thinks is more interesting that what me writes!  Thank you. Sy--I AM an unlikely potion..sigh...but thank you, for your gentle understanding. JM...you are NOT close minded. I should have put the disclaimer there in the first place. You are my loyal and dear SISTER--m'twin...and I love you for it...thanks. Topheth...grinning here, yes, and now you see WHY I fear myself unleashed on me...seems I can do damage without even trying...thanks (and damn yer cute) PG--thank you as always for reading. I do value your opinion highly. Sharon--as always, you understand. I'm so grateful. (ouch...and if I don't quit typing, my finger is going to shrivel up! heh heh) But I did want to tell everyone that I am truly grateful and it was not my intent to "test the limits" nor offend...I was just simply trying to express this idea the best way I knew how. Thanks to all... (serenity exits, guiltily looking for her finger splint..." |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and OH BOY...two sharons for the price of one...thank you my friend...I will get back with you later, and thanks for staying with me in the wee hours of my morning while I sweated this one out. Yer a doll! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
All I can say is ....... Wow! Excellent m'dear! Maree |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I must concur with my friend Poet deVine. . . this poem speaks on so many levels. . . I love all the references. . . it's a poem that I could read over and over again, and still find things that I've missed. . . it does indeed speak to the writer's curse. . . something that we all indeed share. . . well done. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It is easy to see that a lot of thought and effort went into this excellent piece of writing. It is a pleasure to read... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Luscious? I thank you much...you are very dear to me. Sven...I had this feeling that you would "get it"...thank you. Michael...without all that you taught me, this piece could not have come about. I appreciate greatly your patience and teaching, and hope to continue to grow through and by your encouragement. Thank you, my friend. And yes, I intend to thank all who reply to this, as I appreciate so much the support. You guys are WONDERFUL!!!! [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 10-03-2001).] |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Serenity~ Well, I must confess that I am not well versed enough to get most of the allusions here But I did enjoy the rhyme and flow! and I admire your well-versedness (sure it's a word!) Hugs smartie ~Krista Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
I will not pretend to be any great scholor of biblical text, but I did find this to be strong and well versed. Thank you for sharing your time and talent. Peace. |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
i am amazed at how beautiful this is, it is so powerful, it sounds so old and filled with time. your words rock my mind, allen ensign is my fathers name, he is a musician and poet and a professor in english, very curious man, i don't know if he has any music on line, i don't think so, any how i have missed your ancient words, i always feel ready to express when i read your words Kindly, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Krista, thanks so much, and hey...I can get my own allusions, it's other authors' that I have trouble with! You're a sweetie, thank you!Andrew, thanks for the compliment and taking the time to read my work. I greatly appreciate it! Amelia, you fascinate me! I DO miss your postings? If you won't post? E ME!!!! I LOVE THIS PLACE...and I'd also like to thank Kari for being understanding. I appreciate it SO very much!!! sigh...NOW WHAT???  Thanks All!!! |
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