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Teen Poetry #5
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But Never a Princess
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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But Never a Princess |
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BlackDove Junior Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 18Why are you reading this??? |
She is one of little words But when she speaks, she says so much Her mind is deep, like her friendship Her positive words become my kinship When I don't know what to say I wonder, and maybe it'll take a day But the confusion leaves When her words come my way. Words and phrases, thought provoking The sarcasm, the way she keeps joking The wiser of most her age She makes me feel a clown on her stage... When I feel crazy and lost, her map she will lend When I'm at everyone elses end She'd talk to me and call me friend. Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon. -Noel Gallagher |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
i LOVE it. *hugz* thanx buddy!!  *hangs it on her wall* haha. :P you know what i think of it.__o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves* Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Fascinating poem! This really conveys something quite deep. I especially like your choice of wording at the end, specifically your use of "she'd" as though all that is described in the poem is in the past tense. Was this intentional? "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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BlackDove Junior Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 18Why are you reading this??? |
Yes, some of it was in the past. I did do it intentionally. Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon. -Noel Gallagher |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
If I ignore the internal rhyme, this poem rocks. ^_^ It's actually one of the cuter dedication poems that I've seen as of late... when I saw the title, I had no idea it was a dedication poem, but thought it would be one of those "looking in the mirror" poems. But, when it turned out to be a dedication of some sort, it really took on a different light and read much more fluidly and easily. ^_^ Really pretty dedication, with a touch of softness that these poems generally should contain. ^_^ The internal rhyme was bothersome, but not so bad that it destroyed the flow... I'd suggest that you cut down on the rhyme a little for your style; don't abandon it entirely, but cut down a little on it. ^_^ Use words which feel better than they read, ne? ^_^v Excellent read. Thanks! - holatuwol |
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