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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-10-15 10:54 AM

sCrewed In the heAd

Infected by these scrambled thoughts,
Webs of deceit in which I'm caught,
Looking deep within your eyes,
As I try to trip you into lies,

Grapevines sprout up from the ground,
Rumour mills I wish i'd never found,
In which whisper is distort,
Missing links are never caught,

This propaganda rules the news,
And permates my inner muse,
Conspiracies are played out in here,
And paranoia grips all my fear,

I'm lacking trust and confidence,
I'm forming up this weak defense,
My barricades keep you at bay,
As your slowly pushed away.

Ok I don't know what to think of this one myself so any comments would be welcome... especially about the title as i'm not sure it's right

Andrew

"Ph33r Me I eat N00bies Ph0R bReakFAsT"
- Replying might be your only hope of getting noticed -

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (edited 10-16-2001).]

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

1 posted 2001-10-15 10:57 AM

My interpretations go elsewhere then I'd care to mention here. But I liked this a whole lot. Nice work.. and the title...haha now that you've explained it it's cool.

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

2 posted 2001-10-15 06:10 PM

If you believe that it is the appropriate title, then so be it.
Seems like a lot of things do trouble you
I just hope you find what you want
thanks for the read
keep it up

hi Sweets

, Lizzy

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, Jenn

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,

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

3 posted 2001-10-15 11:58 PM

i really like this piece, except maybe you should try rhyming all of the words since it seems as though that's what you're going for.

[distort-caught, new-muse]

other than that, quite a good read.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

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