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Teen Poetry #5
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pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2001-10-09 02:50 AM



     hot frost
   thickINwind
       beneath
  soft
    hard   rain

       dance
             me

© Copyright 2001 maria g robinson - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-10-09 03:01 AM


Very interesting....I do like this one more than your others. The feeling I got out of it was just amazing.

well done. Much enjoyed.  

~AF~

I look at myself in the mirror; am I vital today?
Nelly Furtado - Hey Man

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2001-10-09 10:30 AM


Hmmm i like..yes i do  
Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-10-09 03:57 PM


Well...interesting! New and ionovative! Great! Except...what is it?

If I've lost the girl of my dreams...who am I looking for now?

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
4 posted 2001-10-09 11:58 PM


Once again, you've stumped me, but like I've said before it's okay.  I get the feeling something is under the skin there, but I dont' know what.  Good job.  Always an original piece.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-10-12 02:58 AM


interetsing...as expectations are always there opening one of your poems...your creative ways are enjoyed.

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 10-12-2001).]

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-10-17 12:19 PM


Very  nicely done....I really enjoyed the poem Pharon. Any explanation to this one?  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
7 posted 2001-10-17 02:03 PM


thanx for all the responses you guys!  ok, i will try to explain this one.  

hot frost in thick wind....
   do you know when it's so cold outside that when you speak it shows up? well hot frost is that breath but everything you feel and mean to say is caught up in the thick wind b/4 it can get out
beneath soft hard rain...
   that's kind of self explainatory. this is the rain that comes down hard in big thick drops but is still soft and is usually hot, but your breath still shows
dance...
   um..dance    

so basically this is two people in the rain with so much to say to each other but it all gets caught in the wind and rain so they just dance...

ok, so did i over explain this one?  i'll try and do the same with my other poems later, but now i have to go to class...

              me

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
8 posted 2001-10-18 09:44 PM


OOOOO.....!! i could picture all that in im head- very good imagery pharon. you captured the moment wonderfully i have to say- keep em coming poet!

see the glass crack like a flower opening


       

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