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Teen Poetry #5
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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-09-21 09:57 PM


Mirage of sunlight sinking low
Which cast upon the earthen brow
That lay beneath the wintry snow
Shivering, quivering silently.

An apple's growth in hairless trees
A violin sings a tragic tune
Its bow, a single thread of breeze
Echoing, beckoning violently.

A vine of old surrounds a stone
A flower's tips begin to bleed
Within this world all life is shown
Hungrily, painfully singing.

Her fingers stretch beyond the sky
To midnight sun and morning moon
And as the ink begins to dry...
The words are etched eternally.



++ Leah ++

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-09-22 03:59 AM


I think I caught most of this but I'll have to come back later on and give you a better reply on why I liked it.  

Keep posting these. It's good to see your fake muse left you.  

~AF~

Please put waste in a bin
2001 McDonalds Corporation
Printed in Australia (12913)

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
2 posted 2001-09-22 09:26 PM


Woo...I liked this one. Good job.

-Adam

dastard
Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 55
in tearing silence
3 posted 2001-09-23 05:32 AM


... do you need to know why exactly I liked this?

If yes... sorry!   I just happened to like it.

"Only two things are infinite; the universe and humans' stupidity, but I'm not sure yet about the universe." ~Albert Einstein

Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-09-23 03:01 PM


Well done Leah! Excellentia!
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-09-23 07:27 PM


wow, this is fantastic!  
great writing!!

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-09-24 10:00 AM


This was really great..somehow this reminded me a lot of Fall...
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-09-25 07:38 AM


You are too good. That is why I liked it.  
Now seriously, you are a great writer and anyone that can write pieces like this have my respect and admiration. It isn't something easily given out. There are some great writers in here that I don't love reading as much as you. Wooooo...you're special!! lol  

"An apple's growth in hairless trees
A violin sings a tragic tune
Its bow, a single thread of breeze
Echoing, beckoning violently."
For starters, that is really well written. You've captured the beauty of music yet the most sincere feelings. Putting those two things together pretty much gives you a fab piece.

Well done on this. Keep sharing them, you hear?  

~AF~

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-09-26 01:17 AM


...ditto with what eJ had to say..

hehe...ok, this piece is simply deep that has been expressed with the titles(bittersweet) discription VERY well...you sure are a great writer, Leah...and that is exactly why i love reading your pieces...enjoyed. as always..buh bye

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-10-01 08:14 PM


I bow in front of such talent
*Standing Ovation*

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
10 posted 2001-10-14 10:56 PM


*Stands up clapping and pushes Acire out of the way*
WAAAHHOOOO!!!!! LOVED IT!
In the library...WOW!

Every now and then I like to stick my foot in my mouth...

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
11 posted 2001-10-18 09:46 PM


Hmm... I think that I really like this one! I really like the ending, it wraps it up so well! Thanks for the read!

If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

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