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Teen Poetry #5
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-08-03 11:15 PM


Blitzkrieg of a Boy

He was dying
For a gift he didn't have
That was taken away
Before he could learn
To walk


The boy called lightning down
From under the covers
If he would, the monsters he hovers
To rescind the thunder and drink the rain
To remind himself that life isn't always
About the pain

He wants to live in a house
With a extraordinary guest
And blown by the wind
He will sleep on a gust
The boy who dreams of the lightning
And cries because of the thunder
Hold the boy safe from a Goblin Prince
And ride through those dead woods
To watch him die

Christmas lights go unhung
Into his faded box of spirits
Try as he might
He could never call the lightning
On a sundry Christmas night

Light still creeps into his room
Without his smile to greet
He called down the lightning finally
And he never came back
To hear the thunder
--------------------
I'm going to Texas, so I'll be out for a while.  Here's something to chew on until I get back. Bu-bye, cya in Texas.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
1 posted 2001-08-03 11:26 PM


Wow...the ending is so mysterious, like a myth or tale of some sort. This entire poem gave me this feeling of childish wonder...and magic seemed to flow throughout. Beautiful write... Just beautiful. Thank you. (have fun in Texas!)

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-08-03 11:47 PM


Hey well i'll say that this poem was VERY well done, but not as good as some of your others. I found that the first stanza (not the one in italics) was written in a wonderful style in which I loved, but as the poem went along I found that style kind of being altered. Anyhow, I did like this piece. Well done  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
3 posted 2001-08-03 11:58 PM


*chews* hmmmmmmm a bit rough but tasty! lolz it was a great poem hurry back so you can write more!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-08-04 11:50 PM


This was really good, Oz!  I really enjoyed this one... it was a little different from what I've seen from you, but this was awesome, so that's a good thing.
I hope you come back soon, because I'm going to miss not ready your wonderful poetry.  So hurry back!
Wonderful work here.  I enjoyed this  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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