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Teen Poetry #5
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Stones Upon My Soul
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Stones Upon My Soul |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time 
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There are stones on my soul holding me back, Evils are lurking in silent attack. Burdens of sorrow, heartbreak and wrong, Silent as time all the daylong. Burdens of stress, anger and hate, Constantly pulling double my weight. There are stones on my soul holding me down, I can’t seem to breathe I’m starting to drown. Burdens of silence, troubles unspoken, Too many things are chaotic and broken. So much rage! ‘gainst myself and all others, A blanket of pain chokingly smothers. A cemetery heart can’t understand, What happened to god? And a helping hand? What happened to people? They’re so heartless and cruel, They say the drugs got me I’m a sucker a fool. Why’d this happen to me? What have I done!?! To deserve all of this, am I the only one? I’m dying each day, it’s simple you see, The stones on my soul are murdering me. " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Lentini - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
First off- Godsmack is awesome Second off- So far ive read both your posts and they are equally awesome I find myself screaming your work in my head and I love the pauses... You got yourself your first fan  peace |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Yet again, I'm impressed. I loved these lines: "Burdens of stress, anger and hate, Constantly pulling double my weight." And the last one caught my eye as well. So far I'm very much liking what I'm seeing. Keep 'em coming. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Awesome! I read your first one and came directly to the second. This one is awesome. I can relate so much to this poem. I really like your work. I have never put a poem in my library from someone that is so new, but I am going to because I am really impressed. Good job Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
For the most part... Fits me quite well. Godsmack song stuck in my head at the moment as well.. Anyway great poem. Bel |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
This is incredible (and I don't use that word often... lol) The truth and power in this poem awwed me. This one is going Straight to my library. Keep writing - you have an awesome talent!!  |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this one. Well done here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...i relate to this wholely(sp)...this hit home and...as this is how i fell everday...and no, you are not alone...very wellw ritten...loved this piece. "if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry- |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Incredible...your flow was superb, and the rhymes were nicely done. You had a great dark mood within this poem and it added a little chill to it. Your meter was excellent as well. You have such a wonderful talent. I hope to see much more from you! -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Awesome flow!! I am impressed.. I LOVED the first line to the poem. Very awesome opening. Nicely done! I really enjoyed this. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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