Eh...just another do-diddy

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Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-07-02 11:34 PM

Woe
I wallow in my own troubles
Why can’t I keep things right
Why can’t I ever help myself
Why do I make two feel pain
And let them think it’s theirs
When it’s really all my fault?

Fear
I could never stand to hurt them
How could I tell them the truth
How could I help all be happy
How could I hurt them both so
Let them know of my untruths
When I can’t tell myself I lied?

Torture
I know this will continue though
What can I do to make it easier
What can I hope to live as after
What life would I love after that
If I tore both their hearts so deep
When I know I’m doing it already

Life
I know it goes on, but how fruitful
Who would stand by me after that
Who would want me to love them
Who could trust me when they see
That I’ve hurt these two so terribly
When I’m sure I only crush hearts

Pain
I think it hurts me more than them
Who could know my tortured soul
What eyes they must have to know
Where I have no idea of a soul left
Why would this person even look
How can I ever think to love another
When the one I love is looking now

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2001-07-02 11:44 PM

Powerful and full of pain. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, cause that's not my place, but I am going to tell you that deep down you know what you need to do (even if it hurts). If she loves you, she'll forgive you for whatever you've done. Excellent write, and again, I love the format you used! I truly hope things get better so you can write happy poems!!

Keep writing.

Rhonda

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-07-03 12:41 PM

i liekd how youw rote this...withe very stanza starting with such topics...graet job and a emotional poem..expressed nicely...enjoyed the read...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-07-03 12:47 PM

Yet another nice read from you.
I loved the format you chose.It goes well.
You expressed your feelings very well. I enjoyed the read.

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-03-2001).]

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

4 posted 2001-07-03 12:45 PM

WOW this is so powerful... So strong and sad! I don't know what and who this is about, so I can't really offer any helpful words or anything, but you know that if you ever need advice, you can turn to me and I will help as best as I can, like YOU help ME as best as YOU can!

Well, that's all I can think of to say, but GREAT JOB!!

,
Sara

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-07-03 04:51 PM

You did very well here. I liked how each stanza had a little title on it's own. Very well written piece.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-07-04 04:01 PM

you did really good on this one.
a lot of emotions in it.
great expression of yourself.
keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

7 posted 2001-07-04 04:13 PM

this is really good... sad but good

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

8 posted 2001-07-04 04:31 PM

This was really good work. keep it up.

Regina

If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive.

Raven Skye
Member

since 2001-03-03

Posts 112
.In a House.

9 posted 2001-07-04 04:56 PM

nicely written...

*×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×*
Don't just trust yourself,
learn what parts of yourself to trust.

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