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Dying Echoes
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Dying Echoes |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677
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I think my writers block is finally over. I actually wrote this the night before last, but couldnt decide whether or not to post it. But obviously, I decided to. Silent voices echo through the emptiness Desperate cries of those with nowhere to turn The cresting waves below create a steady rhythm for the silent chorus This silent chorus of echoes Fit to sing in the heavens Their voices echo in harmony Because they all tell the same sad story... A soloist, Brave to stand before you Kind to share her gift Sings her own sad song She stands before you Dying as she shares her gift Dying for you To be what you want her to be She stands before you And all you see or hear are the angelic voices rising from the chorus of dying echoes But that is all they want you to hear They do not expect you to hear the stories behind their words... Now there is a chorus of a different kind That will only be heard atop this cliff Overlooking those rhythmic waves Only now the voices Are those praying for loved ones As they are layed to rest Long before they should have been Because the real voices Behind those heavenly echoes No longer exist They are now only echoes Echoes of the deaths no one saw coming... This poem is about more than death. It has a really deep meaning for me. I hope you like it. *Amanda* |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
I want to know waht the real meaning is lol I really liked that poem. Good stuff I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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DYME Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104Texas |
SO DEEP...I'M ALMOST IN TEARS. No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17 |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is very, VERY deep poetry. I love the way you talk about the harmonizing voices telling a story in the first stanza and then talk about the soloist in the second. Very creative... the imagery in this piece is very nice. The second stanza and the last stanza were my favorite. The ending was awesome... there were a few lines where there could have been in a line break in the middle of them. But I really liked thie piece. Nice work, Amanda. Enjoyed, as always. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
first, yes you have gotten over any possible block! now i will say that the most striking line was in the second stanza, "a soloist"... the positioning of that was, obviously, very appropriate, and it really struck a chord with me as such. this has a lot of depth and i applaud you on your choice to post. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
...i really liekd how youw rote this out with deeper meanings...hope to see more...bye Amanda  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*applauds*~ I always loved free verse a lot and I loved this piece thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this poem. I didn't find it to be that deep in the sense of any HUGE symbolic meaning. I think I pretty much got most of everything within the poem. However, the poem was VERY VERY deep emotionally. I really liked that about this poem. It hit me hard, as I'm sure it hit you hard while writing it. I thought this poem was superb.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
This logically should have had some sort of an impact on me, but it didn't. It may have been the overuse of the word echo. The title is fantastic and there are some lines in it that are truly spectacular but it was missing something. Good job anyway.  ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I had a feeling that no one would see the meaning this had for me. It is something many people who have replied to this already are dealing with. I guess I dont make it obvious, but that was my goal, so... Anyway, to those who liked it, THANKS! *Amanda* |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
I like this poem, reminds me of what John wrote when he was exiled to the island of Pathos, I believe, (though I don't know much about 1st century history, but i'm trying to learn) xscoutx |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
I liked this poem too, I didn't understand what you were trying to say at first (I didn't read the bottom note, lol) but then I read it outloud and I realised what you were trying to say. thanks for sharing!!!! -->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
wow. someone already said someone said something like, emotinally deep. I agree. The poem was very powerful. Amanda i congratulate for a poem that is amazing in every way. Regina |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
this was just great. i absolutly loved it. keep it up.  fall hard, practice harder not to fall |
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