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Passions in Poetry

The Changing of the Card

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Martie
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California


0 posted 07-02-2001 08:54 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

The Changing of the Card

Nodding my head, I listen
across the counter
to the catch in her voice.

I donít know what to say,

she says, when I ask,
my hand poised above the order form
waiting to write her sigh.

A middle aged man jingles his keys
and walks nervously around the shop
looking at the ground
before he orders roses for someone,
someone named Carol or Barbara.
He was stopped cold when I ask,
what would you like to say on the card.

Oh, he was so in love that his cheeks pinked
and eyes glowed.

Sometimes a flower
is used as a quick fix
to get out of the doghouse
back onto the couch
with slippers and dinner tray.
Itís true, flowers say a lot
without a person even writing anything,
but, there is nothing like words,
just said out loud,
written,
shouted,
words like, I love you,
or just, love.
Words like, Iím sorry.

What about, you are more beautiful
than this flower?

For quite some time now
I have had the urge to change
just one word in a message.
No, to be truthful,
Iíve had the urge to change the whole message
just to see
if it would change a life,
but, I havenít.

Not yet anyway.

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-02-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


1 posted 07-02-2001 09:17 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Martie~
SweetFlowerGirl ... there's always tomorrow !

This is just insightfully delightful !

Bouquets to ya', baby ! !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
††††††††††††††††††††††††††††   noles1@totcon.com ††††††††††††

MARK V SHELDON
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since 06-21-2001
Posts 3075
In a corporeal internship...


2 posted 07-02-2001 09:23 PM       View Profile for MARK V SHELDON   Email MARK V SHELDON   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MARK V SHELDON's Home Page   View IP for MARK V SHELDON

I'm enjoying your "storyesque" writing style.  Be careful about "altering a life" by changing that word though...

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

SmittenKitten
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since 06-20-2001
Posts 1152
where the sky and horizon meet


3 posted 07-02-2001 09:49 PM       View Profile for SmittenKitten   Email SmittenKitten   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit SmittenKitten's Home Page   View IP for SmittenKitten

Oh those "what ifs" in life could kill ya!  
~Krista
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 07-02-2001 10:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

aw, Martie..the things I'm sure you have seen in your little shop....

if your customers knew how you can write, they would ALL have you writing out their cards..."a dozen roses, miss, and please tell her how much I care..." they wouldn't be sorry...
Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
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Listening to every heart


5 posted 07-02-2001 10:32 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Yes Martie, in part, I echo...if they only knew how you could write...and take what you've seen...you could change courses...

if only....

hearts are speaking, tonight....
Lone Wolf
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since 03-16-2000
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6 posted 07-02-2001 10:37 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Makes you wonder what would happen if you did, doesn't it?  Could it make a real difference in someone's life like by opening the lines of communication once again or would it be a disaster.  One can never be sure.  Great write here!  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

vlraynes
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since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


7 posted 07-03-2001 12:43 AM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Martie-
   hmmmmm...intriguing idea..
   i'm liking this..

   hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes


Auguste
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By the sea


8 posted 07-03-2001 01:03 AM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

Martie,

I understand what it is you're saying here. As for me, I'd choose to live my life and let others live their own.  This is a good poem and I much enjoyed.  Thank you, my friend.  

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.††

Martie
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9 posted 07-03-2001 01:13 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Hi guys...this is just a thought...not something I would ever do.  I thought it would make a great fiction story one day...Thanks for reading and for the great replies!!
CocoBaci
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10 posted 07-03-2001 01:13 AM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

Hi Martie, my catchup reading would not be complete without finding a poem you have shared with us here...

Sweetie, I really enjoyed this read and I thank you...

Hugs2UalwaysPoetFriend
*~coco~*
Cpat Hair
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since 06-05-2001
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11 posted 07-03-2001 09:20 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

nicely told..and a subject I had not thought of until now.......left me thinking..( which is a good thing although some would say a rare thing for me to do)

I enjoyed!!
LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


12 posted 07-03-2001 09:28 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

martie - ya lil devil, you.  Changing messages on cards crosses your mind, does it?  I can see the card you'd change for me.

My message:  I've got your cat!  boowaaaaaaa

Your message:  I love your kitty.


Now, do you see how your well-intentioned editing could completely ruin my reputation?  hmm?

On a more serious note, I do love the way you described your store, and the way you read your customers and take the time to think about what they feel, and how much you care.  This is a very sweet poem that places you ever more deeply in our hearts.
Interloper
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Deep in the heart


13 posted 07-03-2001 09:38 AM       View Profile for Interloper   Email Interloper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Interloper

Isn't it interesting to watch life "happening?"
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada


14 posted 07-03-2001 10:24 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I read your poem and the second I finished I thought what a great story that would make (the plot I mean), and sure enough there in the midst of the comments is the idea from your wonderful mind!  Excellent idea, and I hope you don't just think it but do it, as to quote your own words,
"but, there is nothing like words,
just said out loud,
written,
shouted," and a book to remind people to say them!  Well done, I really loved this one.

If I made you smile today then I did my job!
†~* Mysteria *~

suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


15 posted 07-03-2001 03:04 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I agree with Bal... If your customers knew the magic of your pen and the greatness of your heart, they'd be begging you to give voice to the flowers they send. *S*

Itís true, flowers say a lot
without a person even writing anything,
but, there is nothing like words,
just said out loud,
written,
shouted,
words like, I love you,
or just, love.
Words like, Iím sorry.

I love the entire poem, Martie... but this section is so wise... and so often unheeded.   Beautiful work, flower lady... and I'll be looking forward to that book you write! *S*
Marge Tindal
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16 posted 07-03-2001 04:23 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Martie~
Back in here to tell you that -
As your agent ...
We should market Martie Says cards for the floral shops ...

Martie Says
What your heart is thinking ..



Love n' hugs~
~*Marge*~
Denise
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17 posted 07-03-2001 05:04 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

What a fabulous idea, Marge! You should do that Martie, print up some cards with your words (some folks just don't know how to express in words what they are really feeling) that they could choose from and attach with the flowers! Beautiful poem!
icebox
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since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


18 posted 02-26-2005 10:23 PM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icebox

That is a great idea!
Martie will be notified of replies
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