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Open Poetry #14
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Cheryl Flemming
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 102


0 posted 2001-06-11 08:47 PM



As I sit under
This big oak tree
A little girl
Approaches me
With her clothes torn and tattered
Her eyes filled with tears and pain
She says can you please help me
As it begins to rain
I am trying to find my mommy and daddy
They had to go away
But they promised before they left me
They wouldn't be far away
They said when I look up to the heaven's
And see the shining stars
That they would be watching over me
Wherever they are
I began to cry
As we looked up to the evening sky
I pulled her close and said
Your mommy and daddy didn't lie
They have gone to heaven
Not far away
And you will all be
Together again someday
She wrapped her arms around me
And held me so tight
She whispered soft and gentle
I'm going to be with them tonight
I closed my eyes and dried my tears
And when I opened them
Two angels appeared
We've come to get our baby
And take her to heaven
Today our little angel
Got her little wings.

© Copyright 2001 Cheryl Flemming - All Rights Reserved
2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
1 posted 2001-06-11 09:12 PM


Very touching.

Melton

Tovi
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168

2 posted 2001-06-11 09:26 PM


This is quite beautiful, Cheryl.   I enjoyed it very much.  

Not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-06-11 09:29 PM


Very tender write.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

redwriter1
Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480
Franklin, TN
4 posted 2001-06-11 09:32 PM


I think this has a poignant story to tell, but I got lost somewhere.

It's very powerful, but I wanted to be drawn in a little more to the story.  Would you mind elaborating to me via email?

redwriter1@yahoo.com

Thanks........

You're writing is very clean I just think I'm missing something (smile) Like there is another story underneath what you are trying to communicate.

Cheryl Flemming
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 102

5 posted 2001-06-11 09:49 PM


Thank you 2dalamit and Tovi for your sweet reply.

Lone Wolf I see you are from Michigan.I am about 45 minutes from you.Thank you for your sweet comment

Redwriter1 Thank you for reading more into the poem.You are right there was more to this but never had anyone ask me about it.I had just revised it from its original version.

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
6 posted 2001-06-11 10:47 PM


What a truly beautiful piece of writing.  Such sadness was portrayed in your words.
Take care.....Sue

Suetang

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2001-06-11 10:54 PM


Cheryl,
Good write, enjoyed.

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