navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » Brian the stripper
Open Poetry #14
Post A Reply Post New Topic Brian the stripper Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2001-06-11 04:12 PM


In the ties of conquest
One word of bliss,
stray  whispering lips
for a love-left list.
Through cranks and cracks
the big bone
makes its scene
lumbering in little shacks.

Brian the stripper
Crawling naked up the walls
Place a dollar where you last left God.

Don't need an alibi
to taste the dance
or thread hairline trance.
Analgesic infants defy
A cradle credence unbroken
hard labour
for powdered saviour,
Mortuary poetry is last words spoken.

Brian the stripper
He is a coming
Through the door

Brian the stripper,
Not him you see naked,
The real ones gone a hiding

Brian the stripper
Wears a garter,
Pay him on the way out.
Exact change, got no time to barter.



"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett


[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 06-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-06-11 05:10 PM


Brian...my humble offering---$$$$!   (and I thought of a name for that cart invention---"The Pony Express!!   )

but seriously as always you take a subject most think irreverent and add that maddening depth to it:

"Crawling naked up the walls
Place a dollar where you last left God."

Smiling here, lovie!  

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2001-06-11 05:29 PM


LOL!!! some great lines in here!!! what a fine poet you are, my friend....... come closer... i have a five dollar bill in my teeth
theLadypoet
Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 97
Or USA
3 posted 2001-06-11 05:39 PM


             

Brian, dear heart, tis a lovely wee poem, unil you dig down into the nether depths.
Little by little it works its way into your
mind and blossoms with meanings and walks down some very serious paths.

I am much to shy to offer you dollars to see
your torso...
ya got change for a twenty?  

"A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water..." Eleanor Rooevelt

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2001-06-11 05:48 PM


Brain,
Some wonderful lines. Enjoyed the read.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

5 posted 2001-06-11 06:45 PM


Like I said matey it's weird heh.

Love-left list?
I will nag you on that one...

'Don't need an alibi
to taste the dance
or thread hairline trance.
Analgesic infants defy'

Nice, nice...

Overall...this is good..weird, but good...weird is often good - as long as you connect with a reader, and I think you can here...

K

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-06-11 07:58 PM


At least a $10.00 bill for this one!!!!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-06-11 08:07 PM


All I can think of when reading this is that hilarioius poem Poet Femme did last year with you in the French Maids costume and....
ERRRRRR  I mean.... hahahaha   ...
oh nevermind...no one will believe it anyway  

Sometimes I dont have a clue what your intention is...but even then...
your wit, clever sarcasim and unique vision always intrigues and makes me think.
and talk about imagery ~woohoo~ hahaha
laterChippendale-gator
Eve

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2001-06-11 08:26 PM


brian...Very interesting, and layered..and like Janet..do I understand it?...hmmm...does it matter?  Enjoyed!
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

9 posted 2001-06-11 09:30 PM


~Brian the what? No sa! Hm. Wow.
After reading and rereading and realizing how your pieces are always like those blocks that open up and there's another a bit smaller inside and another inside that one and so on. You know? There are things to uncover each time you read. And now I'm really, really afraid to du-ET with you ya see, for I'm not sure I can go where it is you go. It's pretty cool you know, what you do. *Peace B.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-06-11 09:33 PM


My, my....'tis a whole new side of you I now see!!    

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
11 posted 2001-06-12 12:22 PM


oh my....oh my.....never seen a stripper before....and I was way back in the corner, so couldn't see anything.....is there any change you do that once again.

*lol* like it very much.

Charisma

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2001-06-12 01:30 AM


Brian......

"Brian the stripper
Crawling naked up the walls
Place a dollar where you last left God."

oh Lordy hehe

enjoyed the read, Thank you

Maree  

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
13 posted 2001-06-12 01:31 AM


MMMMMMMMm interesting picture of you here Brian....heheheh...nice
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2001-06-12 05:23 AM


Brian I love the different roads each individual poem you write goes down.


                 "Place a dollar where you last left God."

Man you got to do that before you get to the mortuary poetry....those final lines.......great poem Brian!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
15 posted 2001-06-12 07:41 AM


i have to say i enjoyed the whole poem but those lines that every one else here has been quoting are certainly powerful,well done


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2001-06-12 08:29 AM


Brian, these lines are SO clever and leave the mind wide open for interpretation...the last stanza does it for me...well done!
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
17 posted 2001-06-12 04:15 PM


Serene. first of all I think you need to rename the cart "stallion express"  And thank you for your donation, unbuttoning my shirt half way.   for your reply.

doreen, you know the way to my heart,, hard currency lol. YOu got me blushing with your reply thank you.

Ladypoet, change??? There are no pockets in my little costume. LOL. THank you for your very kind words. they mean alot to me.

Seymour, thank you.

K, as always your observations are a blessing. Beware or I might kidnap you and force you to be my editor. Yes weird can be good. Thank you.

Kathleen, am I going to be sold for a $10? I thought I was worth at least $20

EVE, try and control yourself or we will both get barred from here. You will never let that french maid incident die, will you?
Thanks for your comments.

Martie, when you make sense of this please tell me because I am just as clueless. thank you for your reply.

Alicia, like russian dolls. WOW well I am seriously blushing at your extremely kind words. Don't worry I know some interesting paths, and I just worried that I wouldn't be able keep up with you once we start our poetic journey.

LW, I always like to expose.. bad word choice.. explore new sides of me

Charisma, there is a 5pm showing and another one at 10pm. thanks for your reply.

Maree, OH lordy indeed, well got a make a living some how. Thanks for your reply.

Paula, thanks. Interesting is a good word.

Ethome, I can't remember where I last left god and I am not ready to sign off this mortal coil just yet, Thank you sir for your very kind words.

Watersign6, thank you.

Michael, you know me just trying to fake intelligence by talking nonsense. Well the garter thing is more of a private hobby. lol.
Thanks for reading and reply.


  

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
18 posted 2001-06-12 05:07 PM


mmm 5pm....and 10pm....will that be your time or my time.    

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
19 posted 2001-06-12 09:45 PM


Quite the interesting write, brian...I didn't fully understand it, but was entertained nonetheless!

sp  

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
20 posted 2001-06-13 01:07 PM


Charisma, My time I guess.


Sp, thank you for your comments.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
21 posted 2001-06-14 11:31 AM


Encore!!!

This is fluidity... in essence...

regards to you Brian, my friend,
Sudhir

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
22 posted 2001-06-14 12:15 PM


Don't need an alibi
to taste the dance
or thread hairline trance.
Analgesic infants defy
A cradle credence unbroken
hard labour
for powdered saviour,
Mortuary poetry is last words spoken.

You've done it again full on sensory attack, and yes I like very much wizard of words.
Thanks for the magic.

Regards,
Olias.

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
23 posted 2001-06-14 02:39 PM


Sudhir, my stripping days are over. Thank you for your very kind words.

Olias, thank you.


"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
24 posted 2001-06-15 01:33 AM


Brian,
your stripping days may be over but I've stripped this poem to the bone and I am still coming up with new layers of nuance...there is no end to you...and that is a good thing.
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life.  Patty Hansen.



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
25 posted 2001-06-15 01:20 PM


Kethry, thank you  for your very generous reply.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
26 posted 2001-06-15 03:01 PM


Well, though this poem has much behind it, I say "Take it off-take it all off"

Sandra

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » Brian the stripper

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary