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Open Poetry #14

I’ll Not Watch You

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2001-06-03 01:59 AM

I’ll Not Watch You

cupped
in your hands
was a fragile dream
over time
threads became bare
split at the seams
I stitched and stitched
to the cuts to repair
but again there
is just an empty
hole there
I’ll not watch
you disintegrate now
it’s the worst
kind of hurt a
heart feels somehow
before I have seen you
disappear before my eyes
this time
I have no tears
left to cry
for I had another dream
for me and you
but it died
and on your wings
away it flew
to pay and pay
and pay again
where does
this debt ever end
I can’t baby sit you any more
it’s not my day
this time before you disappear
I have
to walk away

"...the rest is silence" (Hamlet) Shakespeare

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

1 posted 2001-06-03 02:15 AM

May I say, this is compellingly sad, especially in its sense of devotion and duty, and it's intelligence.
So well written!

angelbear
Member

since 2001-05-22

Posts 139
North East, USA

2 posted 2001-06-03 03:31 AM

Ditto to what is said above. Very good work here and very touching.

I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul,
my only goal
is just to "be"
-Lyrics from RENT

Mr»ÄlleÿÇät
Member

since 2001-06-02

Posts 190

3 posted 2001-06-03 08:25 AM

I really liked this, it's sad but lovely
Thank you
Mr»ÄlleÿÇät

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2001-06-03 08:53 AM

You have a wonderful rhythm and flow in this tender piece 1slick_lady, very nicely written!

Best wishes,
/Kit

g-hm
Member

since 2001-05-16

Posts 85

5 posted 2001-06-03 09:30 PM

This is strong. A very good write.

[This message has been edited by g-hm (edited 06-03-2001).]

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

6 posted 2001-06-04 12:06 PM

This is sad, and so very touching. You did a great job writing this though. I like your work

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

kansas-jim
Junior Member

since 2001-06-05

Posts 22
Willits,Ca

7 posted 2001-06-05 09:28 PM

Beautiful.

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