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Open Poetry #14
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Adoring Radiance
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Adoring Radiance |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
 in a frenzy of irrepressible emotion, you ignited magenta whirls of silent love... despite the disarray of oppressing responsibility, your resplendent emotions spilled over... under the smiling gaze of the buds of tranquility, I gave in to every outburst of innocent passion... held by the emerald indifference of idle winds, my heart surrendered to the threads of your allure... beneath the cherry blossoms against the sky, we gazed into the indications of forever... far beyond any interruptions of the inevitable, we yielded to an azure atmosphere of indescribable ease... -kh 05/18/01 to be with you... |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Well, I knew I was going to love this the minute I saw your name. As far as a constructive critique? The only thing I would offer is perhaps there are too many prepositional phrases. Your imagery is excellent!!!!! Kathleen Blake |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
and here you say _I_ did a nice write of my devotion.... sheesh @ excessive modesty.... -Napalm
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
This was lovely, sp. The pic is gorgeous!  All writing comes |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you ignited magenta whirls of silent love... ============================ under the smiling gaze of the buds of tranquility, I gave in to every outburst of innocent passion... held by the emerald indifference of idle winds, my heart surrendered to the threads of your allure... ========================= we yielded to an azure atmosphere of indescribable ease... ======================= your getting waay too good at this imagery thing... and ditto on the vocab of uncliche' which means Im running outta things to say  WAAAYYY COOOL and groovy too  beautiful declarations flakykhakis  (love the title too) tis never easy being a moth, |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SnowPants~ This is simply stunning ! Such imagery is to be wished for ... time and again ~ 'held by the emerald indifference of idle winds' Remarkable line ! ! ! ! ! I think that perhaps your muse is in bloom ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Kris, this is without a doubt one of the most beautiful poems I have ever had the pleasure of reading! WOW!! |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
I thought this was so very beautiful....Sue Suetang |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
snowpants, this is wonderfully beautiful, such a lovely treatment of the photos inspiration, the only critique I would offer would be the use of the word emotion/s twice in the same stanza. It seems this would be stronger if you used a synonym on the incidence such as 'feelings' or 'passions' This is really a captivating piece!!! |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Snowpants...I like it the way it is..the picture truely adds to it. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
indeed a moment of adoration and inspiration. . . excellent sp. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Snowpants.. I adore your work still, although I don't seem to read it as often. When I do..its treats like this that hold me and inspire me. Truly wonderful work! |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Kathleen: thank you, my friend for your suggestion...I agree with you, now that you've mentioned it! I'm glad you liked it though! Napalm:  ...yes, you did do a great job in your poem, but thank you so much for your kind reply! I'm happy you enjoyed! LW: thanks, my friend...glad you liked! JM: ohhh, but I'll never get tired of hearing your too cool replies...as for the uncliche, I appreciate you commenting on that because I do try to stay away from the usually used phrases as much as I can...  ...thanks again, m'friend!! Marge: thank you so much for your wonderful reply! yes, that is my personal favorite line, too, for some reason...and, yes, I guess you could say the muse is in the near vicinity...making visits when it's 'convenient...'  I am glad you liked this!Denise: I don't know quite what to say to your incredible reply except that I am extremely flattered that you liked this so much! thank you so much!  Sue: thanks! I am glad you liked it! VAS: thanks for your suggestion...I truly appreciate it...I am also happy you liked this! Alan: thanks...if it weren't for the picture, there wouldn't be a poem, so thank you for your kind reply! Glad you enjoyed! Sven: thank you so much...glad you liked this! Temptress: well, thank you...I am honored to know this inspired you! glad you could stop by! sp to be with you... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
For some reason, I'm unable to see the picture... but your words paint so magnificently they don't need the enhancement. *S* This is superb... excellent imagery! |
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