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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-04-07 10:59 AM

Foretelling Eulogies

let me not linger, but pass away
on nothing other than a summer’s day
for I was born in December’s cold
therefore, I’ll have grown quite old

and, yes, remember my golden days
so pleased was I, in my holding phase
that I might pass in summer’s sun
when times are right, and I am done

let the zenith of the sun
choose the time when I am one
of memory, clear thought and smile
remember me kindly, all the while

allow me scents of wild roses, true
settle me ‘neath lucid skies of blue
and let the breeze of voices clear
tickle afterthoughts of me, held dear

smile, please, smile, on my lay down
this final day, and look yet around
to see the visions that I have seen,
there in your heart, hold yet a dream

for when I pass on a summer’s day
my whim of hope, I’ve had my way
and know in spirit, I’ll walk with you
as the sun reigns high, in skies of blue

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-04-07 11:03 AM

Sunshine~ this is amazing.....you are amazing.....

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

2 posted 2001-04-07 11:07 AM

You'll go as you write. In Sunshine. Joyce

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2001-04-07 11:10 AM

The rhyme and rhythm of this is exquisite, save for the following lines, they just don't feel quite right. The rest is to well woven and powerful, I felt I wanted to at least state my perspective. You're the author and your opinion's most important, though. It may just be the way I'm reading it.

smile, please, smile, on my lay down
this final day, and look yet around

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2001-04-07 11:15 AM

Karilea~
Oh, yes ...

'smile, please, smile, on my lay down
this final day, and look yet around
to see the visions that I have seen,
there in your heart, hold yet a dream'

... to leave a smile where we have been~
the greatest gift we give a friend~

Beautifully expressed, my sweet poet friend.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2001-04-07 11:17 AM

Karilea--I think whenever you lay down there will be rain...even on a sunny day. This poem is exquisite!

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

6 posted 2001-04-07 12:05 PM

Assuming My last wishes are carried out -
to have my ashes spread out over the Grand Canyon -
I'm left to wonder where any 'stone might be placed - and what inscription might be placed on it (not thought out yet) -
Let me simply say this: I can think of no words I'd rather have engraved on it

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2001-04-07 02:13 PM

Wonderful poem... and how could you ever be remembered but kindly? *S*

walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

8 posted 2001-04-07 02:55 PM

So beautiful,thanks for sharing !

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

9 posted 2001-04-07 03:07 PM

Kari dear heart, But Persephony is ever young, and she wakes Puck even if only to zoom in see this and say it's AMAZING truly fabulous writing and yes I adore it. Outstandingly perfect poem always your rhyme is top notch.
Take care love and warm stuff
Puck

Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

10 posted 2001-04-07 04:27 PM

Beautiful sunshine, Sunshine.

My favorite line..

"remember me kindly, all the while"

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

11 posted 2001-04-07 06:16 PM

Oh this was just so good, (I'm getting it!)
"smile, please, smile, on my lay down
this final day, and look yet around
to see the visions that I have seen,
there in your heart, hold yet a dream"

...this was simply beautiful, and this of course if the greatest gift one can leave behind.

I just loved this one, into the binder she goes!

~*~ I write, therefore I am ~*~

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