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A Door
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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A Door |
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Encarta Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 101My homeland is not of the world |
A Door By, Matt A door exists inside my mind that extends beyond space and time A door exists that robs my soul that poisons my mind and takes it's toll A door exsits beyound my sight that pulls me in with it's sweet might A door exists around my life A simple door to end the strife But if it's open, oh the pain I'll see Will go on for all eternity A door exists, the ultimate escape but it will not lead to the golden gate A door exists, a simple door Through which, my life will be no more Though before I finally turn the key I wonder, do I dare face eternity The door will be the final cut But I think I'll leave it bolted shut |
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| © Copyright 2003 James M. Hohne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
....wow...(only word i can think of to describe how it made me feel). Thank you, from the bottom of what's left of my cold frozen heart, thank you. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Mann awesome writing here . . . William Blake came to mind immediately . . . "When the doors of perception are opened, all will be revealed, infinite . . ." something like that *smile* xxoo |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
The last line saved this poem, because it gave it power. I really liked the last line. I think you could be more original in your descriptions, though, throughout the rest of the poem. "But if it's open, oh the pain I'll see Will go on for all eternity A door exists, the ultimate escape but it will not lead to the golden gate" Lines like these don't seem very personal. Words are beautiful, but feelings from words are even better. Be emotive. Make me feel what you're feeling. Not just hear it. Good poem. Just reach in deeper. *do realize that I'm only an amateur myself, so I may have no idea what I'm talking about. But, I've realized, after writing for years, that it's only within the last few months that I've actually made my poetry personal. It's an amazing transformation.* Keep writing!  |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I must say wow... so true your words are ringing in my ears, stinging my eyes. Very nicely done Matt. ~Lex |
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