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Dark Poetry #3
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Phone Rang
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Phone Rang |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind 
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The phone rang... for three times before it died. I slowly moved my fingers along the chord; and laid my chin slightly on the cloth. For a moment all things seemed to be asleep, and the smell of a cup was so good that I tasted a spoonful of tea to my mouth... only to find it's bitter. A drop of tea fell onto the cloth; what has poured out couldn't be held back. Softly touched the chord again; my fingers danced on the phone. A voice faded out then it was a beep; I walked away without a word. //Yesterday I picked on a rose, now I pick on the phone and the tea as the objects I wrote about. So, what do you think of my poem? Lizzy http://poets2000.com/lizzyvivian/ ~The first two cup of tea is to throw away; what remains is the best of all. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Eliza Simmons - All Rights Reserved | |||
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
what do i think. hmmmm. there are so MANY things i could say about this poem, but chief among them would have to be great imagery. you captured exactly the bitterness of the tea, and the texture of the cord. like it. more please! -Dave |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
This was beautiful, I love the images I got while reading this, so much that I could almost taste the tea!!  LOVE ELMO |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
A lot of depth here, my friend, needs a little clarification at one or two points but well written. Enjoyed it. jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 11-19-2001).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I think I enjoyed it alot...James |
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