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Teen Poetry #4
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Allan Riverwood
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0 posted 2001-04-01 08:44 PM


Man what a landing
where are we now?
puppy, you're bigger!
How, puppy, how?
you're not my puppy!
speak!  who art thou?

prove you're my puppy
do me a trick
if you're my puppy
you'll fetch this stick!
there!  go and fetch it?
a bone?  are you thick?

Man what a landing
the system is blown
Bazooka is broken
but I'm not alone
I've got my puppy
and I've got this bone

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
AngelShell
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since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
1 posted 2001-04-01 09:11 PM


Interesing, very very interesting.
I have many ideas as to what this poem is about.  All of which seem to contrast brightly with each other.
I had to read it many times to even get a slight crasp on the idea.

Well done.

Kosetsu
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since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
2 posted 2001-04-01 09:27 PM


Heh..Secret of Evermore, mainly the part near the beginning. That game was..interesting, but not one of my favorites.

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

Allan Riverwood
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3 posted 2001-04-01 09:34 PM


  How....... DARE you??  I loved that game.  Hah.... maybe it was just me.  
Kosetsu
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since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
4 posted 2001-04-01 10:34 PM


I didn't say it was a bad game. I liked some things of it, but Secret of Mana (and Seiken Densetsu 3) was better.

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

Child of the Stars
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5 posted 2001-04-02 12:08 PM


  Ya.   I thought the symbolism in this piece was incredible. I believe that the puppy signifies the downfall of modern civilization, and the narrator has found joy in this gift. The bone: a mere accessory to the madness bestowed on a young traveler. Keep up the intensly magnificent work, my dear.
  ~Carly

Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be
the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see...

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 04-02-2001).]

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2001-04-02 02:07 AM


What a landing indeed, Allan.  I was expecting hellfire and brimstone from you on this board, but I've yet to see a single post about Mike...

It looks as though D-Day was cancelled..  Either that or else it was held in a different forum...

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Ina
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2001-04-02 01:48 PM


What game? Im confused.

great poem allan.

regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
8 posted 2001-04-02 01:55 PM


This was a fun piece and the flow of the poem is incedible.  i really enjoy reading your work, you are a very talented writer.
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
9 posted 2001-04-02 03:26 PM


     Secret of Evermore is a VERY good game!  I recommend going through it with the Aerosmith cd "Big Ones" playing the whole time.  It's gives it a MASSIVE replay value!  Ughh, there's one spell I got the first time I played,a nd I can't find it anymore!  There's also a spell you can get in the forest :-) I have it written down somewhere, but it's a SWEET fireball :-)

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Fading Away
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10 posted 2001-04-02 03:34 PM


How can you get a game out of this poem?  Heh.

Interesting, Allan.  Very interesting.  I liked the symbolism.  Nicely done.  Thanks for the read.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2001-04-03 03:31 PM


I liked the ending, but as for the rest of the poem....I didnt quite like it. Seems we're playing a guss-the-game game....
Sounds fun, but I don't play video games.
Anyhow, nicely done. The ending was great.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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12 posted 2001-04-03 04:36 PM


yea it was a interestin poem
great job on this one. allan  

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