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Teen Poetry #4
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Hangover
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Hangover |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Tonight I was born tomorrow I die until that time comes I shall continue to fly Removing the thorn from within my side last night I was born this morning I died I do believe the title explains it all >¶Øʆ< [This message has been edited by Poet on Acid (edited 04-01-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is really really good! very expressive. next time before you go to bed (thats if you don't pass out first) drinks heaps of water till you can't drink no more. ~katie |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Good job, POA. You know what you are doing, no question about that, but maybe the last line of stanza 1 should be two lines? Just a thought. ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I liked the poem and i agree with Allan that the last line of the first stanza might work better as two lines. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Good poem. I can relate to what your talking about and they are a major pain. Oh, the consequences of having fun... Jon |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Owwww *clutches her head*  A pain that is all too familiar. I'll let you in on a little secret. Drink exactly 4 glasses of water WHILE you're wasted then in the morning eat some cold pizza or hash browns from McDonalds. It always works.  Thanks for the memories in this piece. ~AF~ Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
lol @ anonymousfemale. Sounds like you've been there many times before... POA, nice job. This is pretty short, but very good. I'll agree with Allan in that you know what you're doing. Nice job. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
very interesting  hmmmmm.............. You are definitely very creative I;d love to see you use this on other topics  something like happiness and love, things like that  "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Happiness? Love?? HOW DARE YOU!?!? Anyways thanx everyone for the replies even though I haven't been on long enough lately to reply to many of yours. >¶Øʆ< |
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TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
I loved the poem it reminded me of myself at times when I didn't want to be myself |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Umm the demon drink. Haha... I would certainly suggest drinking lots of water and throwing up is good way to not to get a hangover although it doesn't always work. You have my sympathy and great poem by the way. Andrew. " War is peace, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
NIcely done here. I enjoyed this one. *I* have never taken a sip of alcohol....so I have no idea what yer talkin about  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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