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Teen Poetry #4
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Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
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In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-03-21 02:37 PM


Have you ever wondered why,
we dream about the things,
in life which may pass us bye,
or flying without wings?

Have you ever wondered about,
what happens when your dreaming,
all the people sometimes shout,
and no one can hear you screaming?

Have you ever wondered why,
your dreams are your life,
a place for you to cry,
to escape all of the strife?

Have you ever wondered why,
whatever you are seeing,
only ever seems to go by,
when ever you are dreaming?

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.

Life is what happens when you're making ot

© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-03-21 03:03 PM


Nicely done here. I liked this very much!
It's nice to see you posting Allysa!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-03-21 05:26 PM


Great job, Allysa! This piece is marvelous... every poem I read from you lately has displayed growth in your skill. I think you have been improving quite signifigantly.
I have a critique--- the second line of Stanza 3 hampered the flow. It needs one more syllable. So throw a tiny word in somewhere.
Other than that, a fantastic job.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2001-03-21 09:53 PM


I do wonder these things. Im so fascinated by dreams so im constantly analyzing them. This was a great poem and a very creative topic!
Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
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In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2001-03-22 08:01 AM


Thanks you three!

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.

Life is what happens when you're making ot

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-03-22 09:11 AM


I haven't seen you post much, but the last poems I have read from you portray lots of talent! Another very good poem. Nice job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Ski*Chick
Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141
Fitchburg, Mass, Usa
6 posted 2001-03-23 07:07 PM


Good poem, I think it's pretty. minna
Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
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In an upside-down garden
7 posted 2001-03-26 08:17 AM


Thanks much ya all, I've been busy, with school, volleyball, musical practice, and guitar and all that fun stuff like choir, and keeping up with Justin, I'll try to write more.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.

Life is what happens when you're making ot

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-04-02 04:06 PM


Boy, are you really inspired lately  
I've loved your works lately
beautiful Allysa, they're really beautiful

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
9 posted 2001-04-02 05:35 PM


This is really pretty Allysa, i really like this poem.  keep writing and posting

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
10 posted 2001-04-02 06:40 PM


Allan is very right. you have improved alot. Its amazing stuff your writing. keep it up.
regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

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