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Teen Poetry #4
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forever_unsuppressed
New Member
since 2001-02-01
Posts 5


0 posted 2001-03-07 07:59 PM


Wake Up

I watch you shake
As I decide to chop you up into my masterpiece
Your fingers swell with catacomb
Fearing only my deception
Can I keep you alive
While killing your body
Your apathy is what I can't deserve
My pen is the knife I hold against your throat
Caging your every emotion within my battlefield
Perceive how much you hate me
I hate you more
I'll touch you till you're sore
You can't realize you defeat when you're sucking out
this floor from beneath my feet
Vicariously leave the front door open
I don't know what your constitution stands for
Broken liquid
Impossibilities
Vodtka streaming down my lips and cheeks
Drink me sour
Another half an hour and your dead
Wake up

© Copyright 2001 forever_unsuppressed - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-03-07 08:21 PM


Oh wow, this was great. The syle of this is quite appealing to me. Outstanding work!!!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-03-07 09:15 PM


............................................................................................................................My eyes are open wider than the width of the pacific ocean...............
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-03-07 09:58 PM


haha... cute, Carly.
And this poem was outstanding. Very excellent work.
I'm loving what I am seeing of yours.
~Allan

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


HappyPretender
Junior Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 38
Prince George, VA
4 posted 2001-03-08 09:40 AM


I know exactly how this is. So much control. My ex b/f had so much control. i loved him so much and i still do. i can't get over him saying goodbye to me. It still hurts so much and I guess it always will, but I will move on cuz no one holds me back. I hope you can feel the same. Very good poem, keep writing!
*~Rachael

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
5 posted 2001-03-08 04:14 PM


Nice poem, are you a Rage Against The Machine Fan? If you're not, your poem sure fooled me. I have written quite a few Rage influenced songs/poems, just can't share this on this board.Excellent Job!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

forever_unsuppressed
New Member
since 2001-02-01
Posts 5

6 posted 2001-03-11 05:14 PM


I'm a huge Rage Against The Machine fan. Thnx to all.
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