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DreadedLiver
Member

since 2001-01-23

Posts 56
Alter, Ego

0 posted 2001-01-29 10:37 PM

Shunning This Depression:

It falls from black, caliginous drapes,
Leaving me one with myself;
These curtains of depression cover,
The rest of my happy wealth.

My life turned to decayed petals;
From flowers that were neglected.
Those roses were my fragile feelings;
To be nothing less than respected.

They were left astray; in drought.
My tears did accompany as supply,
And they did grow; as we soon will;
With each petal reluctant to die.

I retrieve my life off the ground,
And rejuvenate from your sorrow.
We’ll roam together, hands melted firm;
Onward we go; as love we do follow.

-J. Knightfellow

""I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking."

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

1 posted 2001-01-29 10:54 PM

wow, talk about description right off the bat: "It falls from black, caliginous drapes,"
I just learned that word (caliginous) a little while ago, its a real good conveying word.
the flowers as a metaphor for your feelings is rather interesting, i liked it.. and the way you described what happened to your feelings... great comparison
the ending make me feel better because it portrayed good positiveness

~JDR

"I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-01-29 11:03 PM

This was great. I especially loved the "hands melted firm" part......very very good description. Nice one yere pal.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2001-01-30 06:06 AM

Excellent description DreadedLiver ... the imagery and wording is superb, nicely penned!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-01-30 01:05 PM

I've not read your work before, DL, but I'm glad to have.
What an uplifting piece... the ending brings it all together.
-Allan

Would you really want everything that you thrive for, if you could never appreciate it?

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-01-30 07:43 PM

Let me pick my jaw off of the ground first
Amazing thoughts, imagery, metaphor, and narration
BRAVO!!!

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

anomaly187
Member

since 2000-06-15

Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US

6 posted 2001-01-30 08:54 PM

i'm going to have to just
agree with everything acire
said because i am speachless!!
AMAZING WORK!!

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

7 posted 2001-01-31 02:40 AM

Whoa! I liked this one. I like your optimistic outlook at the end. It truly is the shunning of depression.

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

8 posted 2001-02-01 03:54 PM

Nice one. KNIGHTFELLOW. Good poem.
xoxo
Jenn

"I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

9 posted 2001-02-01 10:07 PM

Hmm...nice one here 'knightfellow'...gotta love that depression stuff, yeah yeah gotta love it....

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." (Nora Ephron)

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