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jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2001-01-21 12:42 PM

At first, this was going to be a free verse poem... but it seemed to flow better this way. I feel that this poem is inadequate, so thats why I named it this... Enjoy.

"Inadequate Faith"

I hope that scorching flame doesn’t smother,
and you’re not a secret filled mannequin,
lying to my face and squeezing me with mistrustful arms,
that’s a firm and hurting sin,

But nevertheless I am existent for your being.
Can’t you hear my resonating voice vibrating through?
Storming around your mind, leaving an impact,
and those raindrops of whispers, drenching you…

My solicitude lives, breathing amidst skies of stars.
I point it out; it resides under the barricade of glints,
making us a sizzling blaze under this mirage.
It must be dreamt; you’re giving me empty hints.

None of this will befall; we’re sort of rigid.
I hope not to sulk in my sorrowful bed,
but rather acquit this disease of thoughts,
that swarms and pesters amongst my head.

I’m incomplete, beneath the flesh of my skin,
that has now turned pale, discoloring more and more.
I’ve caught your flu; the influenza of devilry.
Once I discover my destiny, I’ll find the cure.

For now, I’ll remain neutral in the competition that bleeds,
Somehow I know that this charade is where nothingness leads.

J.D. Raulinaitis 1/21/01

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

The Lost Supertone
Member

since 2001-01-20

Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

1 posted 2001-01-21 12:53 PM

Man that's on interesting poem... althoug I gota say... you leave a lot for me to wonder what you mean in both peoms of your's that I've read... hmmm... if you have AIM I would love to chat, my SN is TheLostSupertone.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-01-21 02:33 AM

This was a nice one. I liked the theme of it jer. Good job

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-01-21 10:05 AM

This is a wonderfully written piece. Your works just improve each day! Thanks for sharing.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav

Salooma
Senior Member

since 2000-01-28

Posts 781

4 posted 2001-01-21 11:20 AM

wow...jer!
that was beautiful

I gotta agree with Love Bug your work has improved sooo much and is still!
great post

Salma

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

5 posted 2001-01-22 04:52 PM

I think you did a good job on this one jeremy!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-01-22 04:57 PM

Your poems are getting deeper and deeper
I personally think that you're also getting much better
You're poems amaze me a lot, and this one doesn't lack either
great job JD
thanks for the read

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

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