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Open Poetry #12
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BestFriend, Boyfriend, Breakup (Why Can't I Get Flowers on V-Day Like Everyone Else?)
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Open Poetry #12
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BestFriend, Boyfriend, Breakup (Why Can't I Get Flowers on V-Day Like Everyone Else?)
| Open Poetry #12 |
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BestFriend, Boyfriend, Breakup (Why Can't I Get Flowers on V-Day Like Everyone Else?) |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 
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I'm on the outside forcing myself to look in. Watching the two of us sit there and stare at the floor. And I don't know if we're even here anymore... I have a million tounge twisted words beating against my heart's locked door. And I don't know if I'm even real anymore... Our eyes caught a moment, but silence had a tighter grip. I'm screaming out, "SAY SOMETHING, DAMNITT! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!" And I don't know if I'm talking to you or me anymore... "And I wanted you to turn away. You don't remember, but I do. You never even tried..." ~Fuel |
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| © Copyright 2001 Christine Straka - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I'm on the outside forcing myself to look in. Watching the two of us sit there and stare at the floor. And I don't know if we're even here anymore... ==================== And I don't know if I'm even real anymore... Our eyes caught a moment, but silence had a tighter grip. I'm screaming out, "SAY SOMETHING, DAMNITT! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!" And I don't know if I'm talking to you or me anymore... ===================== "but silence had a tighter grip." oh how I relate to this moment ... to this frustration ... you've captured the moment well... sorry you have to go thru it... thank you for your replies tonite... and Im glad to see you back here  this is a very cool write... take care poetess jm When you see thru loves illusion, theres the danger your perfect lover looks like a perfect fool you go running off in search of a perfect stranger |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i have a million tongue twisted words beating against my heart's locked door our eyes caught a moment but silence had a tighter grip im impressed by the profoundity i see within these few simple lines...nice work here  |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"And I don't know if I'm talking to you or me anymore..." excellent ending... powerful piece... very well done... (you wrote this for me, right? hehe*wink*).... well? i know you didn't but i felt every word and identified with it more than i can tell you.... |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
I was kinda going for the 'so much more is said with less' approach. It's funny how when trying to confront a problem we're consumed by silence, yet we can say so much about the silence itself. Thanks for replying. ~Much love all, Krissie "And I wanted you to turn away. You don't remember, but I do. You never even tried..." ~Fuel |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Nicely written... I really like the ending. *S* By the way... flowers are beautiful whatever the source and sometimes, we just have to celebrate ourselves if no one else will. *S* Buy yourself some flowers... the smiles they give are more than worth the pinch in the budget. *G* |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I don't know where that male thing comes from...especially when it's the best friend they will ever have...it escapes me somehow...because the man never gets back to being that close to his old buddies...it's not that much a part of his heart anymore... they just talk old stories but they know deep down inside that they need the woman of their heart to chat them up! huh! how easy it is for the man to take the woman he loves for granted......well that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Believe me I ain't no perfect male example...just can't understand it either......take care! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
AniKay83, I like this poem alot. It really makes me think about a relationship that has recently ended.. I'm really glad I stopped in. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I really like this AniKay. . . and I've asked myself that same question time and time again!!! ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
suthern~ thanks for the smiles and I think I deserve some flowers, so I might just go do that! But I'd have to wait two weeks till I get paid!!! ethome~ yeah, I don't understand men either.... Will I ever? Probably not! rosepetal25~ I'm happy you stopped by, too. Hope things go ok for you. Sven~ I think we all ask ourselves that question at one point or another. Always great to hear from you friend. "And I wanted you to turn away. You don't remember, but I do. You never even tried..." ~Fuel |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
EXCELLENT ENDING..........!! Very consise and to the point.... Frustrating isn't it? You want to talk, but afraid of what you might say, how it might sound when the words hit the air. Will they just lay there like a brick.. or will they fly over his head as if never spoken........ yup been there. Thanks for a great poem Kay-lynn **A dream is a wish your heart makes :) |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Yes, it's very frustrating. But what can ya do? Thanks for the great reply! ~Krissie "And I wanted you to turn away. You don't remember, but I do. You never even tried..." ~Fuel |
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Open Poetry #12
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BestFriend, Boyfriend, Breakup (Why Can't I Get Flowers on V-Day Like Everyone Else?)
