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the evolution (secret valentine challenge #2)
| Open Poetry #12 |
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the evolution (secret valentine challenge #2) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Like the smell of baking bread to a child that's gone unfed agony of good intend my heart in crutch is on the mend... insatiated soul in reach reality of touch in breach complexity of truth distends as tummies of the starved, extend... Remorselessness--unrest, am I, engulfed by waves of lovers' sigh, Uselessness describes me too, from first the day that I met you. And no, there is no mystery-- all you read is all of me yet like the fish flops to the land in hopes of growth of legs to stand-- I do not know yet who I am! (as I count the grains of sand...) Now there can never ever be retreat of me, unto the sea... |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Ah girl...you are so many things to so many people...sometimes its easy to lose sight of who you are to you...wonderful babe |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"Remorselessness--unrest, am I, engulfed by waves of lovers' sigh, Uselessness describes me too, from first the day that I met you." uselessness? YOU? aw come on... serenity, i enjoyed the poem but i'm not sure what it has to do with valentine's day... since it says you "encourage contructive critiques"...how can this be a secret valentine if it speaks of being useless and not knowing who you are? is that love? i'm confused.... but what's new? y'know? i'm confused a lot lately, aren't i? anyway, thanks for the read... at least you made me think...  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
HEH HEH HEH...ONE FOR THE GUY I LIVE WITH!!!! MYSTERY SOLVED. |
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ATelamon Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up |
You do place the subject of that Useless and helpless in conjunction with those who hold hearts. (Whether they wish to or not) I am sure I am not alone when I say I can empathize with you. Still no one knows tomorrow's melody complete. Take heart. AT While it may be true that "No man is an island..." You must admit there are some extremely large peninsulas out there. |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
Serenity, this is nothing short of awesome. so beautifully sad. really reaches in and touches the reader. May your dreams always dance to the rhythm of a lover's heartbeat... |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Sure hard to leave this place! I am reading, you are so much like me, it's uncanny......I love reading your poems and finding strength and healing in the words. Thank you for this one. Hope to write again later on down the road. ((((((((((hugs)))))) "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Humph... I missed the solution... Missed the mystery too - But that's OK... I enjoyed the poem - That's what matters...  .. Happy Valentine's Day..  Waft every crest upon your destined sea. Embrace the Wave of Serendipity, Lest its elusive arcane ecstasy Refurl with sail for all eternity. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I'm loving these "secret Valentine challenge" more and more after every read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I do not know yet who I am! well..how many feel this way...I wonder *s.. many nice lines in here..too many to single out ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Paula? I wish I had just a micron of the faith you seem to have in me...I do thank you much lovie! doreen? is why I chose the title as evolution...I like to believe there is a reason for everything. and? It's been said that if we wish to learn and grow faster? We should study the people who annoy us the most. Is this one about love? Hopefully it will end up that way, in one form or another. AT...thank you for understanding. I realize it was not a "typical" valentine, but then it's not a typical relationship either. AWC...you warm my heart with your kindness. Thank you. Kathleen? as Neil Young once said? "it's only castles burning..." take heart my friend. Nan...thank you much for popping in...been avoiding you as if I owe you MONEY, huh? LOL..well, now it's THREE assignments...geez...so sorry...but thank you! acire? there's more to come. (my life is sorta complicated  but thanks!wynter? thanks for continuing to read although I have been sadly lacking in my own replies...HUGS to you! and HUGS TO FORUM! |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Strange twist to this one Serene, But what should I expect being the source of the subject lol. Well done. Rich |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
more people have faith in you than you know serenity. . . love this one. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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